


Forbidden Fruit

by phoenixnz



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5436611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixnz/pseuds/phoenixnz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Smallville, but not as we know it. Lois is the only daughter of a family of boys, growing up in 1920s Kansas. She meets Clark and their friendship slowly develops into a forbidden affair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by a novel which became a major mini series. Some parts of the plot are borrowed, but written in my own words. I put my own spin on things.
> 
> To set the scene: Clark and Lois are the same age. While I have tried to do a little bit of research, I'm taking a little poetic licence with it. All I can say is, some people think they know their calling from a very young age and that's the point of view I'm taking here. But what happens if something comes along to make you doubt that calling?

PROLOGUE 

June 1921

Smallville, Kansas

Summer had come early to Kansas that year. Temperatures had already soared well into the nineties and there was little doubt it would reach a hundred before the month was out.

Sam Lane took off his hat and fanned his face. The train puffed black smoke as it left the little station, a tiny one-roomed hut with a small sign the only indication there was life in the small town. The hut was only manned at certain times of the day and they’d arrived in one of the off hours.

Smallville was one of those towns that time seemed to forget. Out of its population of about five hundred ten years ago, it had dwindled down to about four hundred with some of the young men being sent off to fight the Great War, while others had gone to the city of Metropolis to seek their fortunes. A few more had passed during the Influenza epidemic of 1918.

The sound of a baby crying brought Sam out of his reverie and he looked around, bemused to see his youngest son being carried securely in the arms of his ten year old daughter, Lois. She was tall for her age and already had the maturity of a child much older than her. Her long brown hair was tied back with a ribbon and her face was red from the heat but while she looked worn and tired, she didn’t complain.

Not for the first time, Sam wished his daughter didn’t have to carry the burden, but she was the only daughter and as such had to help her mother.

Sam smiled at his wife, who was pale and sweating as she came to join him, the rest of their children trailing along behind her.

Oliver, at sixteen, was the oldest, already tall and serious. He was fair-haired, a throwback to Sam’s grandmother, who had been the same. His real first name was Jonas but as a four year old, in a fit of pique, he had declared his name would be Oliver, his middle name, and from that moment on it had stuck.

Next was Robert, who was fourteen, and had inherited his father’s dark brown locks, which Sam, to his chagrin, had started to lose in his early thirties. Then Jack and Stewart, both twelve, identical twins who took after their mother. Then Lois, and finally, baby Hal.

“Is there no one to meet us?” Ella asked, sounding tired.

Sam slapped his hat back on his head and peered into the distance. The main street of town was at least a mile away, although it could hardly be called a town since it consisted of one general store. He frowned. His sister Nell had been very specific in her letter about the time and the day when she had sent for them.

“I’m sure they’ll be along soon,” he said.

Still, he couldn’t help feeling anxious. He had uprooted his family, packed all their belongings, and moved them hundreds of miles across the country. Not that he’d had much choice, he thought. Work had dried up in Texas, even for someone of his experience. The owner of the ranch had told him he could no longer afford to keep paying and no other ranches would hire him, or the boys.

It had been a hard winter and many ranches were losing stock. Cattle rustling was not uncommon, not that it did much good, since the stock wasn’t fetching premium prices these days. The whole country was beginning to feel the effects of a world gone topsy-turvy since the war.

The letter from his sister, who had inherited the Kansas farm when her husband died, had been a Godsend. Despite the fact that he and his sister had not seen or heard from each other since they had both left Ireland more than twenty years earlier.

“Ahh, you’re here already,” a voice said. Sam looked around at the tall bearded man. He wore trousers and a cool, cotton shirt, topped with a hat with a wide brim. He wore a silver cross around his neck which Sam, a lapsed Catholic, took to mean he was a man of the cloth.

The man smiled genially. “Father Lionel Luthor,” he said. “Please forgive me for keeping you waiting in this heat. The train must have been early.”

“Thank you, Father,” Sam said, glancing down at the boy with jet-black hair and curious blue-green eyes peeking shyly from behind the tall man. The priest seemed to notice, placing his hand gently on the boy’s head.

“This is my ward, Clark,” he said. “His mother and father, sadly, died from the influenza. Clark’s care was willed to the church.”

Sam nodded and began the introductions. Lionel smiled and acknowledged every child, his eyes kind as he talked briefly with them.

“Come, you all look very tired. I have a car waiting to take you to the farm.”

The boys all exclaimed enthusiastically, never having been in a motorcar before. Oliver gently took his mother’s arm, making sure she was comfortable before doing the same with Lois. It was a tight fit, with the younger boys having to sit on the laps of the older ones, but at least they would arrive at their destination with a reasonable amount of comfort.

The children gasped when they saw the huge house. “Are we going to live here?” Stewie asked.

“That’s the main house, where your Aunt Nell lives,” the priest told them. “You have your own house on the property. It’s further down this way,” he added, turning down a dirt track. The car bounced over the terrain.

A second house came into sight within a few minutes. After seeing the big house, their new quarters were shabby by comparison, but Sam was still grateful to his sister for the offer. He had no concerns about the cottage, which was at least bigger than the quarters they had been given on the Texas ranch. He was sure Ella and Lois would make the house liveable in no time.

He couldn’t help but notice the way his daughter and the priest’s ward stared at each other in fascination. The boy seemed so shy Sam wondered if he had ever been around other children.

It took them a few days to settle in. Meanwhile, Nell had stopped in to give Sam his list of duties. It wasn’t much different from what he’d been doing in Texas. Oliver and Bobby were also given jobs to do.

Nell seemed very friendly with the priest, although not so much with young Clark. Sam often wondered why the priest spent so much time around the farm but Lionel had told him he administered to many of the needs of the farm workers and it was not unusual for him to spend days at a time on the property. Given Nell’s behaviour toward the older man, it occurred to Sam to wonder if there were not more to it. Still, he was not one to judge.

The children settled in quickly and Lois helped her mother without complaint, tending to the needs of the baby as well. The only small complaint they had was the flies. They seemed to be endless. Sam and the older boys could be out working in the fields and be surrounded by them, or the women in the cottage would be forever trying to get them out of the house. As summer dragged on the situation just seemed to get worse.

Little Clark visited the house when Father Lionel was up at the big house. Sam would often see his daughter sitting under a tree by the cottage with Clark sitting beside her, both reading quietly or generally just chattering. It seemed Lois was the only one he talked to, not that she seemed to mind.

Clark was a quiet boy who just seemed to blend into the background when others were around. He appeared to prefer staying out of the way. No one ever had a harsh word for the boy.

Sam was working near the house one day when he overheard his daughter and the boy talking.

“Are you really gonna be a priest when you grow up?” Lois was asking.

Clark nodded. “I like it,” he said. “I like that I can help people in some way.”

“But won’t you be lonely?”

He shook his head. “I have God,” he said. “And you. You’re my friend.”

“We’ll always be friends,” Lois smiled. “Forever and ever.”


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy strikes the Lane family and Lois seeks comfort from Clark when something else happens.

As far as Lois was concerned, her brother Hal was hers more than her mother’s. Especially when two more babies arrived a little more than a year after Hal was born. The last birth was a difficult one and Ella just seemed to lose interest. Lois could see it and even her father remarked on how lifeless her mother seemed to be. She would sit in the big, stuffed armchair, not even sewing, leaving it to Lois to do the chores.

She would hear her parents sometimes, in the bedroom. Her father spent his days out on the fields, from sun up to sun down, but no matter how exhausted he was from working on the farm, he was always there in time for dinner, with a ready smile and a tender kiss for his wife. Even if she didn’t respond.

Lois could tell her father was worried about her mother, but she was at a loss to even understand what was happening. Still, she had little Hal to distract her and at a little over a year old he was running around the farmhouse, generally getting into mischief, as boys his age were wont to do. Lois spent much of her time chasing him and keeping him out of trouble.

She had little time to look after the babies, both of whom had colic when they were three months old. Little Lucy cried all the time, yet her mother wouldn’t even look at her, let alone comfort her. Mrs Lang, the housekeeper from the main house, finally offered to take the twins. She gave them gripe water and tried everything from cool baths to rocking them. Eventually the babies’ colic settled down and the house was peaceful. Lois was able to focus more on her boy.

Hal loved to be read to, so Lois would take him out in warmer weather and sit down underneath the tree, reading the adventures of the Swiss Family Robinson, or Treasure Island, since they were his favourites, although at three years old, she doubted he could really understand what the stories were about.

Clark would sit with them sometimes, taking over the reading when she got too tired. Lois loved listening to him read, especially because he would always do different voices for characters. His favourite book was The Three Musketeers and his voice always rose when he read the more exciting parts.

Clark seemed to be fascinated by the little boy who had golden hair, like Oliver. Her father had told her once that his mother, her grandmother, had had hair of gold and that was where the boys had inherited it. Lois had never met her grandmother, so she had to take her father’s word for it.

It was inevitable really, that Hal’s first word had been her name, not Momma or Papa. It was her he had taken his first steps with and it was always her he came to when he skinned his knee, raising his head for a kiss in the hope that she could make it all better.

Shortly after his fourth birthday, Hal had gone out to play while Lois was in the house folding the laundry. Her mother had gone to bed that afternoon, complaining of a headache, leaving Lois to do all the chores. It wasn’t that she minded, although she wished she had the freedom to go and work in the fields like her brothers, or go to see the twins in the main house, where they spent every afternoon with Mrs Lang and her daughter, Lana, who was a few months older than Clark.

She was folding up the sheets when she heard the scream. Lois dropped her bundle and ran out of the house, looking frantically around for her boy.

“Hal!” she screamed.

Suddenly Clark was there, his arms around her.

“Go back to the house,” he told her. She struggled against his firm hold.

“Hal!” she cried.

“I’ll find him,” he said.

Again she tried to pull away but Clark was too strong for her. The summer of his fourteenth year, Clark had shot up several inches and was now over six feet tall with hair as black as ebony, a loose curl always tending to fall over his eyes. Those eyes so green it was like she was looking into the water of the lake they often swam in when the weather got too hot.

She looked desperately at him. Even in her fear for her baby, she was still struck by how beautiful Clark was. There were times when she fancied herself a little in love with him, although she knew it was something that could never happen. He was committed to what he said was his ‘calling’ although she still thought he was too young to know what he wanted from life.

Clark left her on the porch. She could hear Hal crying. It wasn’t the cry of a boy looking for her. He sounded in pain and scared, calling her name.

Clark disappeared underneath the trees, then came running back a few moments later.

“Get the rifle,” he told her.

Lois knew it was bad. Without hesitation, she ran into the house and grabbed her father’s Winchester rifle from the mounting on the wall. Her father had always told her to keep the gun handy as wild animals still tended to wander onto the property.

She handed Clark the gun and he ran off. Not wanting to just sit and wait, she started to follow him, realising exactly why he needed it. Hal was on the ground, whimpering, while a rattlesnake was coiled beside him, hissing at Clark and shaking its rattle. Lois’ eyes widened as she saw the tear in Hal’s shirt sleeve and the bloody wound. The snake had bitten him.

Clark must have heard her gasp as he looked around.

“Lois, get back!”

He turned back and aimed the gun. Lois heard the click of the lever-action. She bit down hard on her bottom lip, her hands curled into fists as he fired the shot. It missed the snake, but it didn’t matter. With one final angry hiss, the rattler slid away, leaving Clark to drop the rifle and pick Hal up in his arms.

She followed him back to the house, watching as he lay little Hal down on the settee.

“I need to get the poison out before it spreads,” he told her. “Find a blade!”

She turned and hurried to the cabinet, quickly searching for a blade Clark could use. She knew what he was going to do. It was not the most pleasant way to do it, but they had no anti-venom. If he didn’t do it, Hal would surely die.

He took the blade from her.

“Hold him. Keep him calm.”

Lois didn’t know the theory, but she understood that the calmer Hal was, the easier it would be for Clark to prevent the poison from spreading. She could already see her boy’s arm swelling up. Clark had tied a handkerchief around Hal’s arm, just above the wound.

Clark cut into Hal’s skin while she murmured soothing sounds, rubbing his other arm. Hal whimpered and began crying, tiny little sobs that told her the venom was already having some kind of effect.

Clark bent and began sucking, occasionally lifting his head to spit out the blood. She had no idea how much time passed but it seemed an age before he looked at her.

“I think I got it all. Father Lionel is at the house. I know he will fetch the doctor.”

“What do I do?” she asked.

“Find some alcohol and use a little of it on the wound. Not too much.”

She nodded, moving to follow his instructions. Clark patted Hal gently and rose, leaving the house without another word.

Lois gently cleaned the wound with a rag, continuing to comfort her boy. The door to the bedroom opened and her mother came out, looking pale.

“I heard a commotion,” she said.

“Hal. Rattlesnake.”

Her mother nodded and went to the pump, taking a bowl and filling it with water.

“Clark’s gone to get Father Lionel,” Lois told her.

Ella nodded again and sat beside her, helping to clean the wound. She still looked unwell.

Clark returned within a few minutes, panting hard as if he had been running at top speed. Father Lionel entered the house a short time later. He looked at Hal and listened as Clark explained what he’d done, then nodded.

“You did well, my son. It’s in God’s hands now.”

Lois spent a sleepless night by her boy’s side with a wet rag in her hand. During the night he developed a raging fever and she knew he wouldn’t see the sun rise. All that Clark had done was delay the inevitable.

He cried pitifully in his sleep and she lay beside him, holding him as if that could prevent what she had dreaded from the moment she had decided Hal was hers. She had often had nightmares where Hal had died and she had been helpless to stop it.

The door to the bedroom opened in the grey light of dawn and her father came in. Lois looked up at him, unable to bear the grief in his expression. He, too, knew.

“Lois, my girl,” he said, trying to comfort her, but she could not be comforted.

Together they sat and watched the sun come up, listening to the rattling breaths of the dying boy. Her father wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Oh Daddy!” she wailed.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

Hal slipped away. Lois stayed by her boy’s side as his body cooled, unable to bear the looks of pity from her older brothers. Oliver tried to comfort her but she could not be comforted.

Father Lionel visited the house again to make the arrangements for the service but she could not listen to the discussion. Clark stood quietly, looking at her in sympathy. Lois choked back a sob and ran out the door, crying as if her heart was breaking.

She sat under the tree, even though it was bitter cold, sobbing bitterly.

“Lois?”

She felt his hand on her shoulder.

“Why?” she asked. “Why him? What did I do?”

“Nothing, you did nothing. It’s God’s will.”

“I don’t care about God!” she blurted. “What kind of God would take a little boy?”

She shivered, feeling the cold wind blowing around her. Clark wrapped his arms around her, partly in comfort and partly to keep her warm, but even his warmth couldn’t thaw the ice in her heart.

“I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t take care of him,” she cried.

“You did everything,” Clark soothed. “Hal loved you.”

“Then why is God punishing me?” she asked.

“He isn’t punishing you. Sometimes He sends angels down to be with us, to teach us, and then He calls them home again.”

How could he believe so much, she thought. How could he have so much faith in his God when he too had lost his family?

They sat there in silence for a long time while little Hal’s body was prepared for burial, leaving only broken hearts behind.

Hal’s death hit the whole family hard, but for most of the boys, who were used to losing animals, it felt to Lois that they quickly forgot about the little boy who was only a part of their lives for such a short time. Life went on. Stewart, always the quiet one, did everything he could to take care of their mother, who seemed to become more withdrawn.

There was little time for Lois to grieve. Now that she was older, she had begged her father to be able to help on the farm and she spent part of her day riding out over the thousand acres of the property, checking on the animals. Spring had meant lambing season but late snowfalls had seen them lose some of the young lambs. Lois had had to help pull some of the ewes and their young from snowdrifts and take them to the pens to care for them, only to lose them. It served as a harsh reminder of how unpredictable Nature could be.

On Sundays she would attend Mass at the main house, if only to see Clark, who was learning more about his calling from Father Lionel. She would watch him, so tall and handsome, so serious as he stood beside the priest, quietly watching him through each part of the service. His eyes would sometimes find hers and he would offer a small smile which would cause a tiny flutter in her stomach. 

Sometimes she would imagine Clark coming to her, his lips on hers. Even though she knew it was wrong, she would lose herself in the fantasy, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him, touch him, the way she sometimes saw her parents touch each other. She would get a funny feeling in her stomach, or even further down. Her body would tighten and while she didn’t really understand those feelings, it did feel good. Something that felt that good couldn’t be wrong, she reasoned.

Lois had grown into a beautiful young woman. At fifteen she was tall and stronger than most girls her age, yet the mysteries of womanhood eluded her. Her father, so busy with matters on the farm, had failed to notice how grown-up she was, her mother even more withdrawn, growing paler and sicker by the day, neglecting a vital part of Lois’ education.

So it was that a month after Hal’s death, something happened which alarmed her. She had woken one morning to feel cramps in her stomach and saw with horror the bloodstain in her drawers.

The pain and the bleeding stopped after a few days, but the next month came again. And the next. Lois stayed silent on the matter, washing her clothes in secret, desperate to hide any evidence that something was seriously wrong, knowing that her parents could not take the loss of another child so soon after Hal.

Clark had realised she was upset when he came to see her but she was so distraught she couldn’t tell him.

“Lois, what’s wrong?” he asked softly.

She shook her head, unable to bear the thought that she too might be joining her beloved boy.

“Lois,” he said, his hands on her arms. “You can tell me anything. We’re friends, remember? You said we’d be friends forever.”

“I can’t tell you this,” she said.

“Why?” he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“Forever may not be long enough,” she sighed.

“Lois, are you … “

“Oh Clark,” she wailed. “I think I’m dying. Like Hal.”

He frowned at her. “How can you think that? You’re not sick are you?”

It all came out in a rush. She’d kept this awful secret for so long it felt good to get it out. Even as humiliating as it was. She ended up hesitatingly telling Clark everything. About the bleeds and the stomach pain.

Clark seemed to know what to do, taking her hand and leading her to the main house where he found Father Lionel. He spoke quietly to the priest, who nodded and looked kindly at her, but Lois also had the feeling that he was a little angry.

The man patted the chair cushion next to him.

“Come, sit down, child.”

She did so, looking nervously up at the man’s kind face.

“Child, did your mother not talk to you about this?”

“I couldn’t tell her,” she said. “Not after Hal.”

He sighed, but still continued to look at her kindly. “Lois, you are a sweet child, if a little sheltered. It isn’t my place to tell you this, but I believe I have no choice. Lois, you are not dying. This is what happens to every woman. It is how a woman knows she is able to bear children.”

She frowned at him, not understanding.

“It is called menstruation. For most young women, they begin when they are twelve or thirteen, but you are fourteen, if I am not mistaken.”

“Fifteen, Father.”

“It continues every month until you are about fifty.”

“Why? Is it because I’ve been bad?”

He laughed softly. “No child. It just means you are growing up, my dear.”

Clark smiled and nodded. Lionel went on.

“I believe the Bible says before the Fall, Eve did not menstruate. After the Fall, God punished Eve. Do you know the line in the Bible: ‘In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children’?”

Lois shook her head. She didn’t read it much. It was not something they discussed that often. Back in Texas, there had been a preacher who threatened hellfire and brimstone if they did not go to church, but her father had always maintained that he was far too busy to observe the Sabbath Day.

“It means that everything to do with childbirth involves pain. I’m sorry, Lois. I know this is little comfort.”

Lois nodded, wondering why it had to be so painful and why women had to be punished in such a way.

“Why did you ask about my mom?”

“Well, for many, menstruation is a private matter that should not be discussed by boys or men. Please do not be embarrassed, Lois. I am glad Clark brought you to me, but I would hope that you do not tell your mother what we have talked about.”

“I won’t,” she said. “Thank you Father.”

He kissed her forehead. She felt his beard scratch her slightly, but took comfort in the gentle embrace. Now that she knew she wasn’t dying, she did feel better.


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark muses on his feelings for Lois. Tragedy strikes the Lanes once more.

When Clark wasn’t spending his time out on the farm, he was supposed to stay in the little house that Father Lionel kept in town. The little house was nothing fancy, just three rooms, one of which was his guardian’s bedroom. The main room was a sort of kitchen with a coal stove and the third was little more than a storage room. Clark had a cot in that room so he could sleep.

He didn’t really mind the cramped quarters. Father Lionel often told him that it was a test of one’s commitment to their calling; that they would willingly live under such conditions. After all, what did a priest need that wasn’t provided to him by God?

There was a table in the main room where Clark could study. Becoming a priest was not simply a matter of making vows to God. He had to know his Bible thoroughly and learn how to give sermons, making them appropriate. He had watched Father Lionel but that was not enough either.

Sometimes he would sit at the table with the intention of starting on his studies, but would find himself thinking about Lois. About her sweet lips, and her dark hair. He wondered what it would be like to kiss her, although he knew he couldn’t give in to the temptation. Lois was forbidden fruit. The very thing that had caused the Fall, he would tell himself.

Lois was sweet and oh so innocent and it would be so easy to just forget, to give in to those beautiful hazel eyes as they pleaded with him.

“Clark?”

He looked up, realising Father Lionel had come in. It was pouring with rain outside and he was dripping wet.

“Father?”

“Did you not hear me?”

“No, sir.”

“Oh, well, it seems we are needed at Mrs Potter’s.”

Clark frowned at his guardian.

“Why?”

“It’s Ella. I’m afraid she is gravely ill. The doctor has been but he says there is nothing more he can do for her.”

Clark was deeply concerned. Ella had been rather melancholy since the birth of the youngest children, and certainly she had become pale and thin, but he had never considered that she might really be ill, or even worse, dying. Poor Lois, he thought. She had lost Hal just a year earlier and now it seemed she would be losing her mother as well.

They set out immediately for the farm. It was roughly about ten miles from the little house, which was on the outskirts of Smallville to the border of the farm, and another mile from there to the homestead. The track was mostly rough and Lionel drove slowly, lecturing Clark about his duties.

“Now you’re not to go running off with young Lois,” he said. “You’re here to serve as my assistant.”

“I understand, Father, but Lois will need comfort if it’s as bad as you think.”

“Yes, she will, as will all the children, my son. We must not put one of our flock above all others, Clark. God loves all His children equally.”

“Yes sir.”

Lionel smiled at him. “You’re a good boy, Clark, and you’re turning into a remarkable young man. I am very proud of the man you’re becoming. Just as I know your mother and father would be very proud of you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Clark smiled. “I miss them, sometimes, but I know they’re with God.”

Lionel nodded. “Yes, they are. Your parents were wonderful people.” He glanced at him. “I cannot help but wonder if something has been troubling you, my son.”

Clark bit his lip. His guardian seemed to always know what he was thinking. The truth was, his growing feelings for Lois were troubling him. He had long ago decided to give his heart and soul to God, but he couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to be with Lois. To share his life with her.

Lois had once asked him why he was so sure he was meant to be a priest. Had Lionel somehow unduly influenced his decision? Clark had to admit that a big part of his decision had been because he had admired the priest and looked up to him. Lionel was more than just a guardian. He had been Clark’s saviour when his parents had died, giving him a reason to go on even when he had been in the depths of despair.

He spoke hesitantly of his thoughts, then looked uneasily at his guardian.

“Do you wish me to tell you these feelings are wrong? Clark, sometimes the true test of a man’s commitment to God is sacrifice. There was once a woman I cared for very much. We were young and I was in training to be a priest, as you are now. I believed myself in love with her. So much that I questioned my vocation.”

“What happened?” Clark asked.

“I chose the church and it broke her heart, but I have never regretted that decision.”

“What happened to her?”

“She married a good man. They are still together to this day.”

“I don’t want to hurt Lois.”

“I cannot help you with that, my son. Sometimes sacrifices can be painful. All I can tell you is, think carefully about what you really want. If being a priest matters more to you than your feelings for Lois, then that is what you should choose. If you have any uncertainty at all, then perhaps you should take time away from your studies. It matters little now when you take your orders, but you shouldn’t take them if you are half-hearted about it.”

Clark nodded, letting the older man’s words sink in.

“Having said that, however,” Lionel continued, “I think it would be a shame if you gave up your studies on a whim.”

Again he nodded. It had certainly given him something to think about.

Little Lucy and Sam junior were running around the yard of the homestead when Lionel entered through the gates. Clark supposed they were young enough not to realise the seriousness of their mother’s illness, although given Ella’s lack of interest in her youngest children, it came as little surprise that the youngest Lanes wouldn’t understand what was happening.

Lana Lang was watching the children, but she eyed him with ill-disguised hunger. Clark chewed his lip, feeling the awkwardness he always felt around the young brunette. Unlike Lois, Lana seemed to never get the message that he wasn’t interested in love and marriage, although if he were, Lois would be his choice, not the shorter girl.

There had been an incident at a party summer before last, not long before little Hal passed. Clark had accompanied his guardian out of politeness, although he was never very comfortable at such things. He and Lois had spent much of the time at the party out on the porch, talking. Lionel had called him in to introduce him to one of the parishioners, an elderly lady who pinched his cheeks and smelled of rosewater.

Free at last, he’d intended going back out to the porch when he had been cornered by Lana.

“Hello Clark,” she said.

“Uh, hello, Miss Lana,” he stammered.

“You don’t need to be shy with me,” she said coquettishly, reaching out to touch him, laying her hand on his shirt. It felt almost as if her fingers burned him through the cotton. “My, you’re so strong,” she observed.

“I … well, I uh, h-help out on the farm, sometimes,” he said trying to wriggle away from her without being rude.

“You’re becoming quite the handsome man,” Lana cooed.

He was barely fourteen and Lana wasn’t much older. Maybe by a couple of months. Yet she seemed to already have that strange ability to flirt that he’d noticed with some older girls in town. What was it with every female that they wanted to ‘rescue’ him from priesthood?

“Miss Lana, aren’t you being a little f-forward?” he said.

“But you’re so shy,” she replied.

What did that have to do with anything? Besides, he was never shy around Lois.

“Lana, please, I …” He glanced helplessly toward the outer door, praying for something to help him out of this predicament.

“Lana!”

The dark-haired girl sighed and rolled her eyes at her mother’s call.

“Coming Mother,” she called back, pulling away from him with one more coy glance. Clark heaved a sigh of relief as she turned away.

Lana hadn’t tried it again but Clark was always wary around the girl. Unlike Lois, Lana seemed to think she could succeed where others had failed. She was a spoiled girl, in spite of her mother’s position as housekeeper, and clearly liked to act as if everyone around her should bend over backwards to fulfil her every wish.

He couldn’t help hoping she really had given up on him, but as she watched him, her gaze following as they came through the gate, he knew she hadn’t. Lana was the type to strike just when it looked like she had found something else to interest her.

Lionel stopped the car beside the main house and got out.

“Come along, Clark,” he said kindly. Clark followed him, still glancing back uneasily at the brunette. She smirked at him, clearly realising she had unsettled him.

“Eleanor.” Lionel greeted Mrs Potter, taking her hand.

“Ahh,” she sighed. “Such terrible business. Hello Clark, my, haven’t you grown.”

Clark bit his lip and tried not to shrink away from the older woman’s wily gaze. She was another one who made him uncomfortable. Part of it, he supposed, was because she was the lady of the manor, so to speak. She was very wealthy and showed it.

He glanced at the selection of rings on her fingers and tried to hide his distaste. That was what he liked about Lois. She let her natural beauty shine through and didn’t need accoutrements. She didn’t wear rings, didn’t put on airs.

Mrs Potter ignored him and returned to chatting with Lionel, not even addressing him as ‘Father’. The pair were talking animatedly. The woman reached out and traced the crease of the priest’s sleeve, giving him the same kind of look that Lana had given Clark at the party. Sort of coy, but also a little flirtatious. Lionel didn’t seem to mind the woman’s forward behaviour. He was smiling, seeming to be pretending that it was nothing.

“Well, we should go down to see Sam and Ella,” Lionel said finally.

“Of course,” Nell replied, turning to go back into the house. She didn’t seem to care that her sister-in-law was gravely ill.

Clark followed the older man along the path down to the homestead.

“Father, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, my son, you can ask me anything.”

“Why do you allow Mrs Potter to be so …”

“Forward?” Lionel finished. “There are times when it is better to just nod and say nothing, than to create disharmony among one’s flock. Do you perhaps think I should have rebuked her? Caused her offence?”

“But isn’t it a sin? Isn’t it breaking a vow?”

“Many of our flock like to flirt, Clark,” Lionel told him. “It is not breaking the vow of celibacy to smile at a woman or touch a woman in a friendly manner.”

Why did it bother him so much, Clark thought. Was it because of the way Lana had behaved with him? Or was it because he wanted to do more than just touch Lois?

“I’m sensing there may be more to this,” Lionel prompted gently.

“It’s just … Miss Lana flirted with me.”

“And you had no idea how to let her down gently?”

“I didn’t want to cause her offence.”

“Yet offence often occurs whether we mean it to or not.”

“I just … I don’t think of her that way.”

“Yet you do for Lois?”

“I … I don’t know. I just know that I can be myself around her. Lana makes me nervous.”

Lionel laughed. “Yes, some young ladies tend to do that.” He stopped walking and turned to look at Clark. “Son, you are still so very young and it is natural to be a little confused. Becoming a man is often a very confusing time for many boys your age. I must advise caution, however. Do not mistake affection for deeper feelings.”

“Yes sir.”

The little yellow farmhouse came into view. Oliver sat out on the porch, smoking, rocking in the wooden chair his father had made when they had first arrived. He seemed sad, which was understandable, Clark thought.

Oliver was twenty-one now and was tall, thin and tanned from years of working in the hot Kansas sun. He’d once told Clark that the Texas heat was different. There the humidity could make you feel as if someone had taken a wet rag and wrung it out over you.

He noticed them walking over and quickly got to his feet.

“Father, Clark.”

“Hello Oliver. I am sorry to be calling on you so late, and under such circumstances.”

“We’re very grateful you’re here,” Oliver replied. “You’ve been a great comfort to our family in trying times.”

He led the way into the house and called out.

“Pop, Father Lionel is here.”

Mr Lane came out of the bedroom, wiping his hands on a rag.

“Father.” He held out his hand and Lionel shook it.

“Sam. How is Ella?”

“Not good, I’m afraid.” The two men began to talk quietly.

Lois had come out of the bedroom, looking grieved. She didn’t say a word, just walked over to Clark and wrapped her arms around his neck. There was nothing he could do except hold her.


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lois learns Clark is leaving.

Lois watched, stony-faced, as the box was slowly lowered into the hole. Her eyes were kept hidden by the black hat she wore, but she glanced up now and again as Oliver and Robert worked, along with one of the other men from the farm, their faces strained as they struggled to hold on to the ropes keeping the box from crashing down into the depths.

She gazed at Clark through long eyelashes, tall and serious in the grey cassock worn by novice priests, at least in Kansas. Father Lionel stood beside him, reading from the bible. Clark had sent a few glances in her direction, his brow furrowed with concern.

Her father shot her a look of admonition and she returned her attention to the service being read by Father Lionel. It didn’t seem fair, Lois thought. After everything they’d been through the past few years, another loss in the family was just too much. Lois’ gaze shifted to the small marker just a few feet away. She sighed as she read the now familiar tiny inscription, already worn by three blazing hot summers and bitter, snowy winters. Beloved wife and mother. Ella Lane had passed from what the doctor had told the children was pneumonia, but she had overheard her father talking with Father Lionel and the doctor and realised it was something much worse.

In the three years that had passed since her mother’s death, they’d already been touched by so much tragedy between the droughts and the floods. Two men had been lost when a fire had burned the forest not two miles from the property. They had come close to losing everything when the blaze had spread to the far edges of the land and the two men had gone out to move the stock. Lois had once dreaded the thought of losing her brothers in such circumstances, but as horrible as it was, she was glad that none of her older brothers had been caught out in it.

Not long after the fire, Nell had suddenly died. She had gone out on her favourite mare, only for it to take fright at a snake which had crossed its path. It had reared up, tossing Lois’ aunt from her saddle, breaking her neck in the fall. The doctor believed her death had been in an instant.

She couldn’t bring herself to feel sorry for the older woman, who had treated the family like servants rather than her own blood relatives. Lois knew it was uncharitable to feel that way, but the woman had been a harridan.

A gentle hand on her arm had her looking up at Oliver. He nodded and gave her a brief, but sad, smile, guiding her back up to the house. He had been the only one of the boys whom Nell had had time for, and the only one truly grieved by her death.

The boys had gathered in the parlour, doing their best not to spread dust on the parquet floors that Mrs Lang had just swept. Lana served tea with lemon and honey, smiling coyly at Clark, who avoided her flirtatious gaze, clearly not impressed with the girl’s behaviour. After all, her mother’s employer had just died. It was hardly an appropriate time.

Still, Lois couldn’t help feeling a little put out that he had barely paid her any attention in the two days since Nell’s accident. She tried to understand that it was a busy time for him, since Lionel had been giving him more responsibilities. He was almost eighteen - almost a man.

She sighed and fidgeted on the plush velvet-covered cushion on the chair, much preferring the hard wooden seats of the kitchen table in the cottage to this luxury. Lois was a simple girl, with simple tastes. She didn’t care for such opulence.

Her father and Lionel were talking in the corner. Occasionally she would hear snippets of the conversation, but when mention was made of a ‘will’, she realised what they were talking about. Nell had left a will.

She strained to hear a little more of the conversation, yet tried to look as if she wasn’t listening. The two men moved out of earshot and she sat back in frustration.

It was late one afternoon a few days later when her father came to her. Lois was helping Mrs Lang with folding the linen, while Lucy and little Sam played at her feet.

“Papa?” she asked when he told her he needed to talk to all the older children, immediately concerned. They didn’t need some other bad news on top of everything else.

“It’s all right,” he assured her. “There are just some things we need to discuss. As a family.”

Puzzled, she followed her father back into the parlour. He’d gathered all the boys, who sat silently, waiting in anticipation for whatever he had to say.

“It seems your Aunt Nell has left the majority of the property to the church,” their father told them. “The only part of the farm that isn’t is the cottage and the small parcel of land around it.”

“So, what happens to us?” Oliver asked.

“I have already spoken with Father Lionel and he told me that Nell made a stipulation in the will that as long as a Lane survived we would continue to be employed on the farm. He doesn’t see any reason for that to change. The only other thing is that now we are regarded as the administrators of the estate and will continue to be for as long as Lanes live on the property.”

Oliver shrugged, glancing at his younger brothers, who nodded.

“Well, nothing’s really changed then,” he said.

The rest of the children were in agreement. Given the hard times which had befallen the rest of the country, they were glad to still have a place they could call home. It mattered little to them who actually owned it. They were happy with what they had and didn’t feel any different.

Lois listened as her father told them the priest had also suggested that the family could move into the bigger house. Oliver quietly asked if he could take over the cottage in that case, as he had met a girl at a local dance and had been courting her. Lois hadn’t been surprised that he had kept this information from the rest of them. Her eldest brother was a quiet and serious young man who worked hard and usually kept things to himself.

She sat with her brother as he smoked on the porch.

“Were you ever going to tell us?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Mayhap.”

“Ollie,” she said, half in warning, half in laughter at her brother. He grinned at her and shrugged.

“Her name is Chloe. She’s pretty and smart and I like her. It’s just …”

“What?” she asked.

“She’s a little young to be considering, well, marriage. She’s a few months younger than you.”

Which would make her almost eighteen, Lois thought. Still, that wasn’t really too young. Just two months ago, a girl from a property a few miles away had married and moved away. She’d been just seventeen.

“I’ll never get married,” she declared.

He paused in taking a puff, lifting his head to look at her, raising an eyebrow at her.

“You’ll change your mind,” he told her.

No, she wouldn’t, she thought, because the man she did want was out of reach for her.

Life returned to normal, or at least, as normal as it could be, given the change in their circumstances. Father Lionel no longer visited as often, which made Lois wonder if the man had only been coming because of Nell.

She went out riding one hazy afternoon, taking her favourite chestnut. Lois was a strong rider. Her father had often remarked that it appeared she had been born in the saddle as she was such a natural horsewoman.

She rode out to the lake, watching the sunlight reflecting off the water.

“I doubt even the most skilled painter could recreate the picture you make,” a voice said wistfully.

Lois turned her head. Her horse protested as she accidentally nudged its flank and she patted it to soothe it, grinning at Clark.

“I missed you,” she said. “Where have you been?”

“Metropolis,” he replied. “Father Lionel thought I should take lessons at the seminary.”

His own mount, a huge black stallion, snorted and shook its head. Clark patted it briefly as he moved closer to her.

Lois sighed, looking him over. Clark had left the afternoon of Nell’s burial and had been gone two weeks. She had missed talking to her one and only friend. Her brothers were always busy with the work on the farm and while she had her own work to do, she missed having someone to talk to. Lucy and Sam Junior were far too young yet for good conversation.

“Are you back to stay?” she asked, dreading the answer.

Clark shifted uncomfortably on the saddle.

“No, Lois,” he said. “I only came back to tell you … to say … I will be going back to the seminary and I won’t be back in Smallville for several months. Maybe even years.”

Years? Lois could not bear it. The news sat like a hard lump in her stomach. She wanted to throw up, she wanted to cry. Knowing he was entering the seminary, knowing he was choosing the church over her was a bitter pill to swallow.

“Don’t you love me?” she asked softly, so softly she wasn’t sure if he would hear it. He regarded her silently for a long moment. It became too unbearable. Kicking the chestnut’s flank, she swung away from him and forced her horse into a run, wanting to get as far away from Clark as she could.

She wasn’t surprised to hear the sound of a horse’s hooves on the ground as Clark pursued her. His horse was bigger than hers and clearly much faster, and it wasn’t long before he caught up to her. He overtook her and stopped in front of her, turning so her own mount would be forced to a stop.

She gazed at him wordlessly, torn between wanting to run away from him and staying still long enough to hear what he had to say.

“Lois,” he said softly.

“No, please don’t,” she said. “I don’t think I could stand it.”

He got off his horse and stood beside her own, reaching out to her.

“Come on,” he said.

She slid off her mount, watching as he took the reins and draped them over the low-hanging branches of a tree. She reluctantly followed him as he walked a short way down the path, his eyes darting this way and that as he checked for snakes.

He finally sat down beneath a wizened tree which had burned in the fire that had destroyed so much two years ago, yet the tree seemed to be showing new signs of life.

“Lois,” he said, pulling her down to sit beside him. “You know I care for you. How could I not?”

“Then why are you leaving?” she asked plaintively. “What kind of God makes you choose one or the other? Why can’t you have both?”

“Sometimes a calling is stronger,” he said gently.

“But it’s not fair! I love you!”

She had never admitted it, not even to herself, but she had loved him from the moment she had met him, even at ten years old, at an age where she had no idea what love between a man and a woman meant.

“No, you don’t,” he said. “Not like that.”

“Yes, I do. Don’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel, Clark.”

He sighed. “Lois, you know how I feel, but …”

“But you love your God more,” she said petulantly. She jumped to her feet and glared down at him. “Well, I don’t care about your God! Your God took Hal, he took Mama, and now he’s taking you too, and it’s not fair! I hate your God.”

“Lois,” he said, looking pained. “Please don’t!”

He started to get to his feet, reaching for her, but she moved away.

“I don’t care!”

She wanted to run, but realised there was really nowhere for her to go. In the past, whenever she was upset, she would always run to Clark. He was her best friend. Her only friend. Who would she run to now? she thought.

She felt his gentle touch as he took her hand, his other hand brushing the tears from her cheeks. She couldn’t look at him. Not without wanting to beg him to stay.

“Look at me,” he coaxed and she couldn’t help responding to that sweet, gentle tone. She looked up at him, eyelashes wet from her tears.

Their gazes locked and for a moment she couldn’t breathe. She focused on his sweet, full lips. Without thinking, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Clark started, but didn’t pull away and she took that as encouragement, pressing into him so he would be forced to hold her or else lose his balance.

She had never really kissed anyone before, but with him, it just felt so right. How could this be wrong, she thought.

Clark gently pushed her away and she looked up at him, blinking.

“Clark …”

“No, Lois,” he said gently. “I can’t. I can’t.”

“Why not? It’s not wrong. It feels right, doesn’t it?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I made my choice.”

“And it’s not me,” she said bitterly, the tears flowing once more.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said again, before letting her hand go. Lois could only watch as he walked over to his horse and mounted it. He didn’t look at her as he rode away.


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark reflects on his decision and is invited to a family wedding.

Clark wandered the dark hall of the seminary, his hands clasped behind his back, deep in thought. Tall and serious, the nineteen-year-old had grown even more handsome. The few times he had joined his mentor at service, he had heard the young ladies gossiping about him, saying how much of a pity it was that he was a novice priest.

Clark was not so immodest that he was not aware of his good looks, but he viewed them as irrelevant, particularly to his calling. Yet, he could not help being even a little flattered by the attention. After all, a priest-in-training he may be, but he was still a man.

For all that, the young women in the parish, beautiful though they were, could not hold his attention. Clark’s mind, when he was not focused on his studies, was on the young woman he had left behind in Smallville.

Lois had not been able to look at him when he had left the town the last time, preparing to depart for the seminary. She had made a point, those last few days he had spent there, of avoiding him. He could understand why, especially after the way she had kissed him, begged him to stay.

He had loved her. How could he not? he thought. From the day she had arrived in Smallville, the young girl who was so serious, carrying her baby brother, Clark had felt for her. He had sensed her loneliness, her need. Then the only girl among boys, she had been neglected. After all, a girl’s only use on a farm was in household chores, or so her father seemed to think.

Lois had always been something more. A force of nature, Clark thought. One couldn’t help but notice when she was about. She brought a different kind of energy into the room, like an electrical charge. Everything seemed so much brighter when she was around.

He could understand her hurt; her anger. She had no idea just how difficult a decision it had been for him to accept Father Lionel’s offer to send him to the seminary to begin his full training. As much as he believed he had a calling to help people by becoming a priest, he had had doubts of his own when he had realised his feelings for Lois were much more than that of a man of God to one of his flock. Lois had always held a special place in his heart and the thought of giving up all she had come to mean to him had been more than he could bear. When he had gone to her that hazy afternoon, he had thought his decision had been firm. He had chosen to give his life to God and that would never change.

Then she had kissed him by the old tree and he had been so tempted. Like Adam had been tempted when Eve had offered him the apple from the Tree of Knowledge. He would have gladly gone with her, taken what she had offered, but something had stopped him. Something that had told him he was meant for so much more than that. He’d told her he couldn’t give her what she wanted and she had turned away from him, crying bitter tears which broke his heart.

He had gone to Father Lionel that evening and confessed what had happened as they walked in the garden of the big farm house. The older priest had listened as they walked, then stopped for a moment, gazing at him.

“My son, I have always known you have had these feelings for young Lois. But tell me, what would you do if you chose to give up your calling? Would you become a farmer?”

Clark looked at the older man. “I don’t know.”

“What does your heart tell you?”

“That I’m meant to be much more than a farmer. That I’m meant to help people.”

“And help people you shall. By dedicating your life to God.”

Clark sighed. How could a decision such as this be so painful?

“When you chose God over the woman you loved, how did you decide?” he asked.

Lionel resumed walking beside him, his hands clasped. “Believe me, my son, it was no easy decision. I struggled, much as you are now. I, too, wondered if I was doing the right thing. But I also felt that my destiny was with God.”

Clark sighed again as he thought about that conversation. It had been a year since he had left Smallville, but it seemed as if he could never truly leave it behind.

“Clark?”

He frowned and turned around, then offered a small smile to Father Joel, who, oddly enough, had once been nicknamed Jor-El by a student who had a lisp so bad he was unable to pronounce anything properly. The student had been forced to leave the seminary as his lisp made it impossible for him to be understood when he was giving sermons.

Joel was as tall as Clark, with short curly hair and a beard peppered with grey. He was aged in his late forties, about the same age Clark’s father, Jonathan, would have been had he lived. He also had a strong English accent which spoke of his upbringing in the west midlands of that country.

While the father wore a cassock like many of his peers, Clark had the impression he would be more comfortable in the work clothes many parish priests wore on the various farms, as Clark had done, and Lionel had done before him in Smallville.

Unlike some of the other priests in the seminary, who tended to be a little distant, Father Joel often told his students to consider him as not just a mentor, but as a friend. He was always open to talking to the novice priests and never judged those who confessed they were having difficulties. In many ways, Clark found him easier to talk to than even Lionel.

The older man was not alone. With him was a younger man who was only a few years older than Clark. What struck Clark about the other man was that he was completely bald.

“Father Joel,” he said.

“You looked deep in thought,” the older priest replied.

“Yes sir,” Clark responded, glancing curiously at the priest’s companion. Joel smiled at him and gestured toward the other man.

“This is Alexander.”

After a short exchange of small talk, Father Joel was called away. Alexander asked if he could walk with Clark.

“Actually, I prefer Lex,” the bald man replied. He smiled, seeming a little nervous as he ran a hand over his bald head. “I realise how disconcerting this can be,” he added. “I was very ill as a young child and this was the result.”

“Oh, I see,” Clark said, although he didn’t.

Lex shrugged. “Believe me, I consider it to be a blessing rather than a curse. You see, I was born with red hair. Unfortunately, to some, that meant I had the devil in me.” He smiled wickedly, his demeanour more relaxed. “I’m afraid I played that to the hilt.”

Clark grinned at the other man, genuinely amused by his easy-going manner. He led the way out to the garden as Lex continued to talk. It was a beautiful spring day and the flowers were out in full bloom. Clark often spent time in the garden when he was not studying.

He looked at Lex. “What can I do for you?” he asked. “Mr …”

“Sullivan,” Lex replied. “But please, call me Lex.” He touched a finger to his lips. Clark noted the man had a scar on his upper lip, wondering what had caused that.

Lex asked how his studies were going and shared a little information about himself. He worked for a small law firm in the city. Only twenty-six, he was close to making partner in the firm. He was clearly very intelligent and well-educated and Clark found himself liking the older man.

Lex gestured toward a wooden bench and they sat.

“Father Joel was telling me you’re from Smallville.”

Clark nodded. “Yes, I am.”

“My sister … stepsister really … my mother married Gabriel Sullivan when I was ten and he adopted me. He has a daughter. Chloe. Uh, anyway, Chloe is about to be married. To Oliver Lane.”

Clark frowned at him. What did that have to do with him, he wondered.

“I know the family,” he said, then remembered Oliver had mentioned he was courting a young woman.

Lex nodded. “Yes, I understood as much. Father Lionel Luthor runs the parish there, I believe?”

“Yes.”

“What do you think of him?” the other man asked.

Clark gazed at his companion curiously. It seemed to be an odd question to ask.

“Well, he took me in when my mother and father passed.”

“So, he’s the reason you decided to become a priest?”

“I wanted to help people,” Clark replied, shrugging off the implication that Lionel had influenced his decision. It wasn’t really any of Lex’s business.

Clark spotted another one of his teachers in the doorway and rose.

“I’m sorry. I must return to my studies.”

Lex nodded, looking apologetic.

“Of course,” he said. “I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time. I would like to visit again and talk with you some more.”

Clark smiled at him. “I’d like that. Good day, Lex.”

He was conscious of the other man’s gaze as he joined his teacher.

A few weeks later he received a letter from Smallville. Clark frowned at the writing. It wasn’t Lois’ familiar messy scrawl. Not that he had expected her to write him, since they hadn’t spoken in over a year.

He tore open the envelope and unfolded the single page. There was just one paragraph which had been neatly written.

_Hello Clark,_

_By now I am sure you have heard that I am to be married. It would be an honour if you would join Chloe and me on this happy occasion._

_Best regards,_

_J. Oliver Lane._

There was no mention of Lois, but again, Clark hadn’t expected one. Oliver was a few years older than him but he had always got along well with him.

Knowing that it would be impolite to refuse the invitation, Clark approached Father Joel and told him. The older priest immediately granted him leave, saying he would clear it with the head priest.

On the long journey on the train, Clark had time to think about what he would say to Lois when he saw her again. He had been careful not to ask after her when Father Lionel came to see him, but of course the older priest saw through the small deception anyway.

He was surprised to discover Father Lionel had chosen not to meet him at the station on his arrival. Instead, it was Lana. She smiled flirtatiously with him.

“Well, look at you,” she said. “All grown up and so very handsome.”

Clark tipped his hat, as was custom, but tried to keep his manner cool and not too friendly.

“Hello, Miss Lana.”

“Father Lionel had to attend to some business with one of the parishioners, so he asked me to come instead. I hope you don’t mind.”

He did mind, but was too polite to say so. He let her lead him to the car, which had once been Nell’s and sat in the front, saying little to her. Lana didn’t seem to notice, keeping up a steady stream of chatter, updating him on what had been happening on the farm.

“Of course, you know about Oliver marrying a girl from Granville. The other boys don’t seem to be much interested in courting. Oh, did you know that Lois is being courted by a young man?”

Clark sucked in a breath, feeling pain shooting through his body. Lois was seeing someone?

Lana didn’t seem to notice, continuing to chatter on about nothing in particular, telling him about a young man she had met who had asked her mother’s permission to court her. She prattled on and on about how handsome her young man was, as if she was trying to make Clark jealous.

All he could do was stare out the window at the dusty road, trying to calm his breathing, his mind full of images of Lois out with this young man.

Lana left him at Father Lionel’s little house. Clark was meant to spend the rest of the evening focusing on his studies but he could not help thinking of Lois. He finally gave up on the books and tried to sleep, but his sleep was restless.

Clark rose at dawn after a mostly sleepless night and performed his morning libations before washing and joining the elder priest for breakfast. The older man said little more than ‘good morning’ as he placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of Clark.

Once again, Clark returned to his studies until it was time to leave for the farm. He opted to don the less formal clothing prescribed by his teachers in the seminary, yet still appropriate wear for a priest in training.

Oliver greeted him warmly, looking happy and excited to be married. Clark thanked him politely for the invitation. The other man smiled.

“Clark, I’ve known you since you were ten years old. Priest or not, you’ve always been part of our family.”

Clark felt warmed by the older man’s affection and took his seat as the ceremony began. He looked around curiously, hoping to see Lois, and spotted Lex, who caught his gaze and smiled back in welcome.

He watched as Oliver’s wife-to-be walked down the aisle, escorted by a dark-haired man and a pretty redhead. Chloe was blonde and petite, with a fair complexion. She was almost a foot shorter than Oliver but that didn’t seem to matter to either of them. As her mother and father left her in the hands of her husband-to-be, she smiled at him, looking so happy and so in love.

The ceremony was concluded with a small reception. Clark approached the happy couple and congratulated them.

“Thank you, Father,” Chloe said.

“Oh, please, call me Clark,” he replied, smiling at her. “Your husband and I have known each other for many years.”

“Clark is almost like a brother to me,” Oliver told his new wife, giving her a light squeeze.

“Oh, yes, you explained all that. Silly me.”

As the couple moved on to accept congratulations from another guest, Clark felt a rush of energy and turned. There she was, looking extremely pretty in a light, floral summer dress. He sucked in a breath as the sun shone down on her dark hair, giving it an almost ethereal glow.

She looked back at him and for a moment he thought he saw the same shock in her eyes. Then the moment was broken as a man touched her arm.

Clark frowned. The man was tall and dark-haired with chiselled features, yet there was something so very familiar about him.

“The resemblance is quite remarkable, wouldn’t you say?”

Clark turned and looked at Father Lionel.

“I beg your pardon, Father.”

“Young Bruce. He could almost be your twin.”

Clark was left frozen on the spot as he stared at the man courting Lois. Jealousy sparked through him as Lois laughed at something Bruce said. That should be me, he thought.

As much as he wanted to go to her, tell the man he shouldn’t be touching the woman he loved, Clark knew he had no right. He had given up that right when he’d chosen the church over her.

He turned away, curling his fists in anger. Not at her or Bruce, but at himself. He had put the needs of others before love and now he was paying the price.


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lois recalls how she and Bruce began courting

Lois could barely breathe. She didn’t know how she managed to get through the next hour or so, acutely conscious of Clark’s presence. He had stalked off, his face ashen, his expression as stormy as a thundercloud, disappearing somewhere on the property, yet she could still feel him.

Bruce took her arm, asking her to dance with him. He’d taught her how to dance the first time they had gone out.

She liked Bruce. He was charming and handsome. She had met him when he had come seeking work as a farmhand. Like many other men in town, he was desperate for work and her father had taken pity on him, despite the fact they didn’t really need any more farmhands.

She knew what people said about her. That she was aloof and considered to be something of a snob. The few times she had been into town, she had overheard the young women whispering behind their hands, claiming that she was full of herself because of her rich family. Little did they know, she thought. The property belonged to the church and that wasn’t likely to change.

When Clark had left a year earlier, Lois just hadn’t even considered going out and finding new friends. It was just something that wasn’t a priority for her. She had her brothers and her little sister, and her work on the farm, and that was all she needed.

Then Bruce had joined the farmhands and everything had changed. Lois couldn’t help but notice the tall, dark-haired young man who inexplicably reminded her so much of Clark. They were very similar in build and in colouring, but where Clark was shy, Bruce was bold.

Lois had been working out in the field, helping to move some of the cattle, when Bruce rode over.

“Afternoon missus,” he said.

She frowned at him. “Pardon?”

He shrugged affably. “Don’t mean to offend you.”

“I’m not offended,” she returned. “I’m just not a missus.”

His grin was crooked. “Figured it would get you talking at least.”

He turned and rode away, leaving her wondering what that was all about. She couldn’t help looking for his muscular form the rest of the afternoon, wanting to scold him for his presumption.

She stopped by the river to get some water when she heard the sound of a horse behind her. Lois looked around, tilting her head so she could see under the brim of her hat.

Bruce shifted on his horse, one finger pushing back the brim of his hat.

“You know, I heard the young lady on the property was a pretty little thing but it looks to me like they were wrong.”

Lois bristled, glaring at him. She was about to tell him off for being rude when he smiled at her.

“You’re far more than that. You’re beautiful.”

“You’re being rather presumptuous, don’t you think?” she asked, finding her voice at last.

He chuckled. “Now don’t get your bloomers in a bunch, princess. All I was doing was paying you a compliment. Usually when a man pays a dame a compliment, she says thank you.”

“Dame?” she said, raising an eyebrow at him. “And what makes you so hot?” she went on.

He didn’t answer, kicking his horse when Oliver called his name, yelling at him to get back to work.

Lois would never have admitted in a million years that she had been flattered by his compliment, such as it was, and the attention. Bruce was a good-looking man who didn’t have to work very hard to draw attention from all the young women in Smallville, but it seemed he only had eyes for her.

She hadn’t been surprised when Bruce had approached her father, hat in hand, asking permission to take her out. Lois had a mind of her own and rather thought he should have asked her first, but she was not so socially inept that she was unaware of the demands of propriety.

Bruce took her to a dance in Granville. Lois found herself hugging the wall of the dance hall, too afraid to step out onto the floor. Bruce reached for her hand.

“Dance with me,” he said.

She shook her head. “I don’t know how.”

“It’s okay,” he replied, smiling gently at her. “I can teach you.”

Biting her lip, she let him lead her out, watching the other couples on the floor. Each girl had a hand on her partner’s shoulder, while the man would place a hand on her waist. Bruce copied the pose, giving her instructions in a low voice.

After a few false starts, in which she accidentally stepped on his toes, she began to enjoy herself, even relaxing enough to respond to his jokes.

A few days later he asked to take her to a picnic and they sat on the common, surrounded by people from all over Smallville, out enjoying a rare day off.

The first time Bruce kissed her, he had persuaded her to take a ride not long before sunset. She had been dismayed to find that Bruce had taken her to the little clearing where she had once kissed Clark, but said nothing, not wanting to spoil the moment.

Bruce laid down a blanket and pulled her down with him. He kissed her gently, holding her hand, but making no other moves. They sat , talking about different subjects. Bruce told her he wanted to own his own property one day. He knew it would be hard work, but it would be worth it, he said.

“What about a family?” she asked. “Don’t you want that?”

“I do,” he said, looking deep into her eyes. “This life … it’s lonely. What’s the point of having your own place if you have no one to share it with?”

Lois bit her lip. His words and tone seemed sincere, but she wondered if he really meant what he was saying.

When Oliver had announced he and Chloe were to be married, Lois had felt a little envious. Of course her brother should get married, she thought. He was twenty-six, old enough to be considering settling down. Still, she couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to marry someone like Bruce.

She didn’t know if she loved him. Lois didn’t think she could ever love anyone other than Clark. Even if he was gone.

When she had looked up during the small reception and saw Clark watching her, looking handsome even in the clothing novice priests seemed to be expected to wear, she had felt something akin to an electric shock. Part of her had wanted to go to him, until she reminded herself of the way they had said goodbye.

She didn’t want to be bitter. Clark had made his choice and she had to live with it, but it still hurt.

Lois left Bruce’s side and went to sit on the wooden porch swing, staring out at the stars. The sun had long set, but the celebrations were still continuing. She could hear the music playing and people laughing and talking, but it just reminded her of what she did not have.

She looked up as someone sat beside her. Oliver smiled.

“I know why you’re sad,” he said. “You shouldn’t be.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied. “This is your day. I should be happy.”

“It’s hard, isn’t it? Seeing him again?”

She frowned at her brother. “Ollie …”

“Lois, I may not have been around much, but I do see. The thing is, he’s made his choice. I know that’s hard for you to hear, but it’s the truth.” He sat in silence for a few moments. “I just want you to be happy, sis,” he said.

“I know.” 

He turned his head, looking through the door at something, then turned back to her.

“Bruce … seems like a good man. I like him.”

“I do too,” she admitted.

“Then what’s the problem?” her brother asked.

She couldn’t say it out loud. Oliver seemed to understand anyway. He got up, patting her knee before going inside to join his pretty wife.

“He’s not Clark,” she said mournfully.

She was about ready to get up and go back inside when she heard heavy footsteps in the dirt. Clark stepped up on the porch.

“Hello, Lois,” he said.

“Father,” she said stiffly, refusing to look at him.

“Lois, please don’t.”

She wanted to rail at him, she wanted to fly at him, hit his chest with her fists, tell him how much he had hurt her. Complain bitterly about the unfairness of loving someone who could never love her back. But she couldn’t.

She got to her feet and stood, glaring at him. Clark approached her slowly, as one would a skittish colt.

“Lois, I just wanted to talk.”

“There’s nothing to say,” she told him. “You said everything a year ago.”

“I want to explain …” he began in protest, closing the gap between them as if to take her in his arms. She pushed him away.

“No! No! Leave me alone, Clark. Please! Just leave me alone!”

She pulled away from him and ran around the porch, jumping down the steps, tripping over something in the darkness. She heard something tear, but refused to look back, knowing if she did she would start sobbing and never be able to stop.

Lois found herself walking toward the stables where she kept her beloved horses. She opened a stall door, pressing her face against the flank of her chestnut mare, which she had dubbed Daisy, and poured out all her frustrations. Daisy seemed to listen quietly, snorting softly, as if trying to comfort her in her emotional state. Lois patted the horse’s flank, slowly calming down.

She was about to step out of the stall when she heard voices.

“Lillian, you know I cannot.”

“He’s your son.”

“Tell me you have not told him the truth of his birth.” The man sounded furious, or panicked. Lois wasn’t quite sure which. She frowned, trying to figure out why the man’s voice sounded so familiar.

“Of course I told him,” the woman replied. “He deserves to know where he comes from.”

“Lillian, you must understand my position. If my superiors were to discover that I not only broke my vows but had a child out of wedlock …”

“I should have known you would be so selfish, Lionel,” the woman replied bitterly. “My son …”

“Yes. Your son. Who has a father, if I’m not mistaken. Do not approach me again, Lillian. I cannot help you.”

Lois hid in the shadows as the man strode past. She bit her lip, stunned by what she had overheard. It seemed like Father Lionel had a few skeletons in his closet. But who was the woman?

She heard quiet sobs, then another figure passed the stall, heading out into the night. Lois stepped out, following as quickly as she dared. As the figure became more discernible, she recognised the woman. Chloe’s mother! Lex, she thought. Lex was Lionel’s son!

As she made her way back to the house, she pondered the question. Who could she tell? Common sense told her she should keep quiet on the matter, since she doubted anyone would believe her anyway. The one person who might, the one who had always been her confidant was lost to her.

Life went on as normal once the celebrations were over. Oliver and Chloe moved in to the cottage to start their married life together. Oliver continued to work on the farm while Chloe began dedicating herself to running the little household. Lois, at first, had little to do with her sister-in-law as she was so busy keeping up with the accounts. The seasons began to turn and with it came the rains. The household chores were neglected as Lois helped her brothers on the farm prepare for the cold season.

Chloe, clearly wanting to help, offered to take over the household accounts. Lois quickly agreed, teaching the other girl how to balance the books. They would often work late into the night until they could barely keep their eyes open.

Bruce would stop by before heading to the bunkhouse for the night, chatting over a hot toddy. Chloe would watch these interactions with a genial smile.

“He likes you,” she observed one night. Bruce and Oliver were sitting out on the porch, watching the rain coming down, smoking from pipes.

Lois glanced at her. “I suppose he does.”

“Are you going to marry him?”

“He hasn’t asked me,” Lois replied with a snicker. “Besides, I’m only twenty.”

“My father wanted me to wait to marry Ollie, but I couldn’t.” She smiled softly. “When I first saw him, I knew I would one day marry him.”

“How did you know?” Lois asked.

“It’s not just that he’s sweet and kind. It’s the way I feel when I’m with him. Like nothing else matters but me and him.”

That was the way she had once felt with Clark, but what was once a dream was now an impossibility. She had heard through Chloe’s brother that Clark had taken his vows. The day she had learned this, she had run through the forest, feeling as if her heart was breaking.

Lex, it seemed, had begun to cultivate a friendship with Clark. Chloe often remarked that it was good for her brother to have a friend who could listen and not be judgemental. She had noticed Lex had been melancholy of late. Lois thought she knew why, but didn’t speak of it.

“Bruce is a good man,” Chloe said, echoing her husband’s own words. “And he cares for you. I know he does.”

Bruce came in, as if to say goodnight. Lois rose, going to him. He kissed her cheek and took her hand, leading her to a quiet corner.

“Lois, I told your brother and your father tonight. There is a place. A ranch, near Topeka. The owner offered me full-time work. It’s better pay. I could save for my own place. Our own place.”

“Our?” she asked.

“Come with me,” he said. “Marry me, Lois.”

She glanced at Chloe, who was in her brother’s arms. The couple were chatting quietly, looking so happy. She wanted to be that happy.

She turned and looked up at Bruce.

“Yes,” she said. “I’ll marry you.”

In a small church cottage on the outskirts of Metropolis, Father Clark Kent opened an envelope post-marked Smallville and read the two brief paragraphs from Father Lionel Luthor. His heart stopped beating for just a few seconds and pain lanced through him. He stared at the page, his eyes blinded by tears. She was lost to him.


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark learns something about Lex and it changes everything

“Clark!”

Clark smiled as his friend came through the gateway.

“Hello Lex.”

The bald man sat down on the bench beside him. Clark was enjoying a rare day off in the sun, admiring the little garden he’d begun to cultivate.

“So, how are you?” his friend asked.

“I’m good.”

The other man studied him for a long moment, clearly looking for some kind of reaction.

“Are you?” he asked.

“Of course. The sun is shining. My flock is happy.”

“But are you happy?” Lex said.

Clark frowned at him, still unsure what his friend meant. He had his church, his God, his parishioners seemed to be happy enough, despite the economic woes currently troubling the rest of the country. They were mostly simple folk in his parish who were happy tending to their vegetable gardens, watching their children play in the summer sun.

Clark had often spoken to his flock of the events in the cities, where they’d heard people were struggling. There had been a lot of people out looking for work, some had been forced out of their homes. Understandably, they were frightened; worried about taking care of their families. Still, Clark had reminded those in his parish that it wasn’t some kind of punishment by God, but a test of their faith.

He was doing his best in the circumstances, and the people responded to that. So he was happy that they were happy. His own happiness, in himself, didn’t factor in with that.

“Clark …”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Lex,” he said cautiously, not wanting to anger his friend.

“Clark, I’m worried about you. Ever since Lois …”

He bit his lip, turning his head away so his friend wouldn’t see the sudden colour in his cheeks. It still hurt, even though it had been a year since Lois had married Bruce and left Smallville.

He still recalled the day he’d received the letter from Lionel, telling him the news.

My son, believe that this is for the best. God always has a plan.

Clark had tried to comfort himself with that many nights since, but the pain of losing his dearest friend … no, she had been more than that … his dearest love, had often been too much to bear.

“Have you heard from them?” Lex asked.

“No,” he replied, but then why should he? He was no longer part of them. He was a full-grown man, not a child playing at being a man, helping out on the farm.

“Chloe sent me a letter. She and Oliver are about to have their first child. They decided if it’s a boy, they’re going to name him Jonathan.”

Clark felt a lump in his throat. His mother and father had been dead thirteen years, or almost, but he still missed them. He nodded slowly, careful not to let Lex see just how much it affected him. Lex seemed to understand anyway.

“If it bothers you, I can tell them …”

“No,” he said quickly. “It’s all right. I miss them, but Chloe and Oliver have a right to name their child however they please.” He tried for a weak smile. “So you’re going to be an uncle?”

Lex grinned. “Yes. It’s wonderful.”

“You love your sister.”

His friend nodded. “Chloe was almost four when Gabe married my mother.” He smiled fondly. “Chloe used to follow me around all the time. When I was ten, it was more an annoyance than anything, but then she turned into a beautiful young woman and all her suitors were afraid of me.”

Lex had a playful side, Clark had learned. While his friend never talked about the illness he had had as a child, it had been suspected that the experimental treatment he’d received had caused the permanent hair loss. Some people had been a little unnerved by it, but Lex’s parents had never let him feel like his difference was a bad thing. That hadn’t stopped Lex from playing pranks on children, especially around Hallowe’en. Chloe had helped him on more than one occasion, delighting in the reactions.

His friend seemed hesitant as he stared into the distance.

“Uh, Chloe told me something else,” he said.

Clark looked at him. “Why the hesitation, Lex?”

His friend bit his lip. “I doubt you will find this news welcome. Lois and Bruce, uh, Lois is going to have a baby.”

Clark froze, feeling a sharp pain in his chest, as if a shard of ice had suddenly pierced his heart. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t react.

“Clark? Clark?”

His friend’s voice sounded as if it was from far away. There was a ringing sound in his ears. Everything was muffled.

“Clark!”

He blinked rapidly, then looked at Lex. The older man looked at him with concern.

“Good heavens, Clark. You looked like you were going to faint for a moment.”

He found his voice at last.

“I’m fine, Lex. Don’t … don’t worry about me.”

The other man shook his head. He rose, gesturing with his hand for Clark to stay seated.

“Stay put. I’m going to get you some water.”

Clark did as he was told, trying to take deep, calming breaths. It had been difficult enough learning that Lois had married Bruce, but to have a child with him was more than he could bear. How could she do it? Had she really forgotten him so easily?

How could she have married Bruce?

Lex returned with a cup of water and Clark took it gratefully.

“How are you feeling?” his friend asked.

Clark didn’t reply, sipping his water.

“Believe me, Clark, I know how you feel. I met someone, a few years ago. I thought she was the love of my life, but she didn’t love me. All she wanted was my money.” Lex frowned. “I’m not rich, but I’m not a pauper either. Helen wasn’t interested in me as a person.” He sighed and dropped his head. “Chloe discovered Helen had a lover and told me everything.”

“It’s not like that with Lois.”

The bald man lifted his head and studied him.

“Clark, if you love her that much then why did you choose the church over her? I just … I don’t understand how you could let her go like that if that’s how you feel.”

“Lex, it’s not like that. It’s just … ever since I lost my mother and father I’ve always felt like I had a purpose. That there was a reason for it all. I wanted to help people.”

“Are you sure Father Lionel didn’t unduly influence you?”

He frowned at the other man. “I don’t think he did. When he took me in, he used to talk about why he became a priest. What it meant to him to help others.”

“Lionel isn’t the saint you make him out to be,” Lex said quietly.

“What do you mean?”

His friend looked pained. “I … I shouldn’t be telling you this. I’m not bitter, but … Lionel … is my father.”

Clark stared at him in disbelief.

“What?”

Lex nodded. “It’s true. My mother told me the truth years ago. She fell in love with Lionel. I think she still loves him to this day. But he refused to leave the church for her.”

Clark frowned. Lionel had told him once that he had loved a woman, but he had chosen the church over her. Had he actually said it was before he became a priest? Clark couldn’t remember.

Suddenly some of the things Clark had noticed became a little clearer. Lionel had always been friendly with the women in his parish. With some, he had been a little too friendly. All the times he had flirted with Nell Potter, and she with him. Had there been something more to it than just a priest caring for his flock?

Lex looked almost mortified, seeing Clark’s own hurt.

“Clark, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, you were right to tell me,” he said. He wanted to tell his friend that it didn’t change anything, but the words stuck in his throat. It changed everything.

“My mother went to Lionel the night Chloe and Oliver got married. I don’t know why she did it, but she confronted him. I think perhaps she wanted him to own up to what he’d done. She thought I had a right to know why my father rejected me. I think there was more to it, but I don’t know.”

“What else could it have been?”

“I don’t know. She did say that she had been surprised to see Lionel there. Maybe she didn’t know he was the parish priest.”

Lex sighed. “I know I said I’m not bitter but I’ve often wondered why a man would reject his own flesh and blood to be a man of the cloth. It changes nothing. Gabe has been a good father to me. I know he loves me, and that’s all that matters.”

“Is it?” Clark asked softly.

Lex looked at him, his blue-eyed gaze showing surprise.

“Why shouldn’t it be? I don’t need Lionel. I’ve become a successful man without his help.”

Clark nodded. Lex really didn’t seem bitter, just resigned.

“There’s something else,” his friend said. “Lois had doubts before she married Bruce. She went to Lionel, asking him what she should do. He knew how she felt about you, but he told her to marry Bruce anyway. That you would never leave the church for her.”

Clark started. Why would Lionel push Lois into marrying Bruce?

“Bruce doesn’t love Lois, any more than she loves him.”

“How do you know?” Clark asked, feeling anger rise up inside of him.

“Bruce is, hmm, how should I put this? The only thing he really cares about is money. He puts on a good act, but all he cares about is getting his own property. Lionel promised him a stipend from the Potter estate if he married Lois.”

Clark frowned at his friend. He knew the church controlled the estate, but did Lionel really have the power to make that kind of promise? Especially to someone who was not a relative of the family? Then again, if Bruce married Lois, any money she earned from the estate would automatically become Bruce’s.

He knew there was only one way to resolve his feelings on the matter. He asked for some time off but it was still a few months before he could leave his parish. A replacement had to be arranged and he couldn’t just leave his flock without some kind of explanation.

He told Lex his plan. His friend was concerned, but understood, warning him to be careful.

Clark travelled to Smallville by train. Lex had written to his sister, asking her to get someone to meet Clark, and he was unsurprised to see Robert, the second eldest Lane, waiting at the station.

“Hello Robert.”

“Hello Father,” the other man replied. Clark glanced down at his pants and shirt. He had chosen to wear casual work clothes, rather than what was expected.

“Clark,” he prompted. “I’m not a priest here.” Not now, he thought.

Robert nodded, leading him to the car. The journey was made in silence. Robert was not as outgoing as his eldest brother and had always tended to be shy and quiet. Clark was not surprised the man was still unmarried.

Chloe looked a little harassed when he arrived at the cottage. Oliver was obviously still out working, leaving his wife to cope alone. A little boy with blond hair and chubby features, who reminded him of the little brother Lois had lost years ago, greeted him with a cherubic smile, toddling on unsteady legs toward him.

Another baby was crying loudly. Clark frowned as Chloe sighed and disappeared into one of the rooms, coming out a few moments later with a dark-haired baby at least six months old.

“There, there, sweetie. Don’t fret, it’s okay.”

“Chloe, who …”

She turned around so he could see the baby’s face. It didn’t take much for him to recognise the little girl’s features. She looked just like her mother. Except perhaps a little angrier.

“Poor thing,” Chloe crooned. She looked again at Clark. “Ella’s had a rough time. She had bad colic and now she’s suffering with prickly heat.”

“Where’s her mother?” he asked.

Chloe bit her lip. “Clark, Lois … she nearly died having Ella.”

Clark stared at her in shock. “What?”

“She’s fine. Now. But it was a difficult birth. It’s taken time for her to recover, and with Ella being so sick as well …”

“Isn’t she with …” He couldn’t say the word. ‘Husband’. “Bruce?”

“He’s still at the ranch outside of Topeka. When Lois was close to term he sent her home.” She shook her head. “Poor man. He’s been frantic with worry.”

Clark didn’t disabuse her of that notion. It was better for them to think that Bruce was a good man.

“Where is Lois?” he started to ask before they were interrupted.

“Ahh, Chloe.”

Father Lionel’s deep voice could be heard as he entered the cottage. Clark turned and looked at his former guardian.

“Hello Father,” he said.

Lionel’s eyes widened as he looked at Clark.

“Well, Clark, you’re looking … very well.”

“I decided to take a few days away from my parish,” Clark told him.

“So you came to Smallville? Ah, I’m sure you miss the town.”

“I do,” he said honestly. “Father, there is something I would like to talk to you about.”

“Now is not a good time, Clark.”

“I really must insist, Lionel,” he said, locking gazes with the other man. Lionel seemed a little nervous.

“Very well. Allow me to attend to my duties first,” he replied, taking the screaming infant from Chloe to comfort her.

It was clear that Lionel wished to avoid him, but Clark pursued it, managing to corner the older priest two days later.

“Tell me about Lex,” he said.

The other man frowned at him. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“Don’t you? Are you telling me you know nothing about your own son?”

Lionel scratched his beard. He had more grey in the beard now.

“Clark, what lies has Lillian told you?”

“I never said it was Lillian who told me,” he replied. “In fact it was Lex. Who, by the way, wants nothing to do with you. I want to know why you lied to me.”

“What lie is this?” Lionel asked. “I have never …”

“You told me you once loved a woman and chose the church over her, but you never said anything about having already taken your vows. I’ve done the maths, Lionel. It couldn’t possibly have happened before you were ordained.”

“Clark, you’re reading all this wrong.”

“No, I’m not,” he insisted. “And it makes me wonder if I should believe in anything you say.”

“Believe me, my son, all I did was for your own good.”

“Lex keeps asking me if perhaps you unduly influenced me when I chose this life. I thought he was wrong, but now I wonder.”

“Clark …”

He turned away from the older man, wondering how things had managed to get so twisted.

There was nothing in Smallville for him now, he thought. He returned to the cottage, hoping to at least repair some of the hurt he had caused.

Chloe was once again looking after Lois’ daughter.

“Where is Lois?” he asked, taking the baby from Chloe. Immediately, Ella quieted, looking up at him, her beautiful hazel eyes wide. He smiled down at her and she responded with a smile of her own.

“Wow!” Chloe exclaimed. “I’ve never seen her respond like that with anyone! Not even Lois!”

“Where is she, Chloe? She’s not in Smallville.”

“No, she isn’t. Oliver and I, and her father, thought it best. She’s staying at a cottage at Butler Lake.” Chloe looked at him, a worried look on her face. “What are you going to do?”

“I just need to see her. Talk to her.”

It was a two-day journey from Smallville to Butler County. Clark had to hire a car to take him the rest of the way and he was hot, sticky and tired by the time he drove down the winding, narrow road to the cottage.

As he got out, he looked around and saw a small figure walking by the lake. With some peculiar sixth sense, she seemed to realise he was there, turning her head to gaze in his direction.

Guided by some unknown force, Clark began running toward her, while Lois stood still, clearly uncertain.

As he reached her, all thoughts of his priestly vows were forgotten. He swept her up in his arms and kissed her as if her kiss could breathe life into him. The life he never knew he was missing.

“Lois!” he cried.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lois gives in to her feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morally, I do not agree with what happens in this chapter, but since it is an adaptation of the book, I am following along with the general plot line, although a lot of the events occur differently of course. 
> 
> In terms of Clark and Lois, the reality of it will hit with a vengeance. Technically what they do is actually illegal (a little bit of research suggests it might actually still be in some states). 
> 
> I hope I have answered some of the previous questions as to why things are the way they are. All I can say is, I believe Lois is suffering from post-natal depression, but of course these things were never heard of in those days. However, given her health following the baby's birth, it isn't surprising.
> 
> Short chapter, but as Clark says in Homecoming, 'let's leave tomorrow until tomorrow and just have this'.

Lois pulled away, frowning at Clark as he tried to pull her back in his arms again. What was he doing here? More importantly, why was he kissing her? All the times she had dreamed of being in his arms, kissing him, loving him, only to have those dreams shattered when he’d chosen the church over her and now it was as if that choice had never existed.

“Clark, what are you doing here?” she asked.

“I needed to see you,” he said.

She stared at him, confused. “Why?”

“Does it matter?” he replied.

She blinked rapidly. “Of course it matters. Clark, you can’t just come here and … how did you know I was even here?”

“Chloe told me.”

Lois bit her lip. Chloe and Oliver had practically forced her to take time away from her baby daughter. She was sure she was supposed to feel guilty, but all she could feel was relief. It had been one thing after another since baby Ella had been born. She had been an invalid for about a month after her daughter’s birth, unable to even get the strength to feed her unless Chloe helped her.

It was difficult for Lois to admit, especially after having looked after Hal from the age of ten, and helping to look after the two youngest, that she just could not bond with her daughter. Ella’s colicky tummy and near constant screaming hadn’t helped matters. No sooner had that settled when something else set the infant off and Lois found herself wanting to run away from it, rather than deal with it.

Close to a breakdown, her doctor, a man who had moved from the city to Smallville after the private practice he had been working for closed down, had recommended to her family that Lois take some time away. Chloe had assured Dr Emil that she was capable of taking care of Ella as well as little Jonathan, who had been born a few months before his cousin.

So Lois had rented a small cottage on the shore of Butler Lake. It was fairly isolated, but perfect for her needs. She could fish or hunt as well as if not better than some of her brothers, and the peace and quiet gave her time to rest and reflect.

She never should have married Bruce, she had thought. She didn’t love him and if she was right, he didn’t love her either. What kind of man would spend all his time working in the fields, practically day and night? Whenever she wanted to do something, like have a night out, he would tell her they couldn’t afford it, yet she knew he was earning good money. Not to mention the fact that he was being paid a stipend from her Aunt Nell’s estate. It was supposedly for her, but Lois had never seen a single cent.

She figured she was lucky he even gave her money to keep house, although it was a paltry sum and barely enough to put good food on the table. Not even the house was theirs, she recalled. It had come with the job.

She tried to justify everything by telling herself that once Bruce had a place of his own, things would get better. It didn’t help. None of it did. Things were even worse when she fell pregnant with Ella. Bruce had not wanted a baby, judging from his cold reaction when she told him the news. He couldn’t wait to get her out of his hair, although he at least had waited until it seemed appropriate. Throwing her out just when she’d announced the coming baby wouldn’t have looked good to her family and might even have lost him his stipend.

Lois had found herself lying awake for many a night in the little cottage trying to figure out her husband. It wasn’t that Bruce was a bad guy, really, she supposed. He didn’t beat her, as she had heard happened to some women. When he was in a good mood, he was sweet and attentive. The problem was he was just more interested in creating a good future for himself. Which made him bad husband material.

The first time she had made love with Bruce, it had been so painful she had cried most of the night. Bruce had slept through it, or at least pretended to sleep through it. The next time hadn’t been as painful but Bruce had fallen asleep on top of her after he’d climaxed, leaving her unsatisfied.

She’d thought it was her. That there was something wrong with her.

She’d spent a lot of time walking by the lake, thinking about her marriage and what to do about it. She couldn’t return home and tell her father her marriage was a sham. He would most likely tell her she wasn’t trying hard enough. She loved her father but he could be a bit dense at times. She’d often heard him talk about other people who were having troubles in their marriages and he would say it was the woman’s fault. That she was not trying hard enough.

Lois had thought a lot about Clark on these lonely walks by the clear blue water. So much that when he had run up to her she had thought she was just dreaming him. Right up until he had kissed her, then she knew it was no day dream.

She faced him now, full of the love she had always carried for him, her best friend, her childhood companion.

“I had to see you,” he said. “I couldn’t … there’s so many things I …”

She frowned at him, reaching up to brush the hair away from his face. His hair was damp. It had clearly been a long, hot journey.

“Clark, what’s happened?”

He shook his head. “Let’s not talk about that now. I just …” He looked at her, green eyes full of emotion. “I need you, Lois.”

There was some unknown emotion in those eyes and she was lost. All reason left her as he leaned forward and captured her lips with his. Nothing mattered but the feel of those lips on her, of the tide of emotions they stirred up within her. Not even Bruce had been able to affect her like this.

She was barely aware of him lifting her in his arms, nor of him carrying her toward the little cottage. She felt safe and secure in his strong arms. She felt … at home.

“Lois.”

His voice was a whisper, but she heard the need, the love in his tone as he set her gently on her feet and slowly undressed her. How could she refuse him, she thought. Her logic brain told her this was wrong on so many levels. They would be breaking so many laws. Adultery, for one. For another, the law of the church which said that a priest must not lie with a woman.

Yet deep in her heart, Lois had always felt that in marrying Bruce she was being unfaithful to Clark, her one true love. She wondered if that was why she had never been able to make love properly with Bruce, knowing that she hadn’t, and had never, loved him.

As Clark stood nude before her, she couldn’t help the little gasp. Clothed, he was a good-looking man, naked he was a god. She reached for him, her fingers tracing his muscles, learning his make-up as a blind man would learn his surroundings.

“Lois, you’re so beautiful,” he said softly and she believed him. Bruce had never told her she was beautiful and her brothers, as much as she loved them, weren’t exactly full of compliments either.

Clark kissed her. It wasn’t the practiced kiss of her husband’s. This one was slightly clumsy, as if he didn’t really know how to kiss, but she didn’t care. She pushed all thoughts of Bruce out of her mind as her lover lowered her to the bed and lay over her. He trembled as he slowly began to make love to her, reminding her that he had never done this before.

She opened her eyes fully and gazed up at him, giving him a smile of encouragement, wrapping her arms around him to trace his back muscles. The silence of the room was broken only by the occasional moan as their passion grew and at last Lois learned the secret of making love. She gave in to the emotion, letting her lover take her to heights she never knew existed and she cried his name, tears rolling down her face.

Clark tenderly brushed the tears away, holding her in his arms as they lay together, limbs entwined.

“Lois,” he whispered. “There’s so many things I need to …”

She rolled over, facing him, a finger on his mouth, shushing him.

“Not now,” she said. There would be time for talking but now all she wanted was to be with the man she loved, feel his arms around her and enjoy the moment.

Tomorrow, she knew, they would have to face the enormity of what they’d done, but for now, she just wanted to leave tomorrow until tomorrow.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark tries to come to terms with what he has done.

Clark woke to find the room was in complete darkness. He had no idea what time it was, but judging from the lack of light, he guessed it was some time after midnight.

Lois muttered something in her sleep and shifted, her arm draped across his chest. He brushed a hand over her hair and kissed her head, not wanting to disturb her slumber.

There were so many things he had wanted to tell her, but one look at her beautiful face and he had been lost. He’d spent the past few months dreaming of her and having her in his arms at last was better than any dream.

Somehow, he’d known what to do as he’d carried her into the cottage, acting purely on instinct. Of course, as a young man, he had heard other boys talking about intimate relations between a man and a woman, but it had been something he had chosen to avoid, thinking he could live without it.

Being a priest, giving his life to God, had made him think at times that he had to be something other-worldly. He’d accepted that he would have to live without the love of a woman, even if it had torn his heart to watch the woman he loved - had always loved, if he was being honest with himself - choose someone else.

He’d had time to think over the past few months, wondering what possible reason Lionel could have had for encouraging him to become a priest. Was it jealousy? Or perhaps Lionel had seen himself in the boy he had raised from childhood, wanting to mould Clark in his own image.

The more Clark thought about it, the less he understood his former mentor’s motivations. The man had chosen the church rather than honour his obligation to give his son a name.

Perhaps Lionel regretted his youthful actions and that was why he had pushed Clark, thinking he could prevent him from making the same mistake. What was the commandment? Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife?

Yet here they were, together. Him a priest, forbidden to lie with a woman in intimacy and her a married woman.

I’m going to Hell, he thought. But if Hell meant he would have Lois, then he would go willingly.

He had read dozens of parables in the Bible of men who had committed heinous acts, all in the name of love. He had wondered then how something that seemed so innocuous could cause such a thing but now that he had felt the passion, the love of the woman sleeping in his arms, he understood. For he would do everything in his power to protect his love, even at the cost of his own life.

Lois moaned again and he heard her breathing hitch. It was clear she was awake when she lifted her head, her hand brushing his chest.

“Clark?”

“I’m here,” he said.

He couldn’t see her eyes in the darkness but he still felt the weight of her gaze.

“I thought I was dreaming,” she said. “When I saw you, I thought it was a dream, then I was in your arms and you …”

He bent his head and found her lips, kissing her gently.

“I’m here,” he repeated.

She touched his face, her fingers tracing his jaw, tips dancing over the stubble, causing an involuntary shiver. He had never known himself to be so sensitive there, but then, no one’s touch could ever set him ablaze as Lois could. He could feel himself growing warmer, his whole body alive to her touch.

“Clark, we …”

“No,” he returned quietly. “Let’s not talk.” If they talked they would have to face what they had done and he wasn’t ready for that. He knew there would be consequences. Chloe knew he was here; she more than likely knew what he had come here to do. Whether or not she informed her husband of the true purpose of his visit was another thing.

Of course, she could have just believed he had come to the lake because he was concerned for Lois, maybe to counsel her. It was a faint hope and he knew she was too smart not to have known the truth of his feelings. They had been patently obvious. Even Oliver, as absorbed as he was in keeping up the property, had not missed the signs.

“Clark?”

He pulled Lois closer so she straddled his hips. He let his instinct once more take over as he stroked her, allowing her quiet moans of pleasure guide him as he made love to her. He gave her everything he had to give, delighting in every sound she made, from her soft gasps to her cries of ecstasy. She was so beautiful, so breathtaking in her passion and he couldn’t help but fall deeper and deeper in love with her.

Morning light found them once again curled in each other’s arms, their bodies intimately joined. They’d barely slept, reluctant to waste even a moment of their time together, knowing that this was only a brief respite from the reality of their lives.

Lois shifted, the softness of her hair tickling him as she kissed his chest, then pulled away so he slipped out of her. Clark rolled on his side and watched as she rose, picking up a bathrobe, her body a silhouette against the light streaming through the window as she draped the white fabric around her. His gaze took in the curve of her backside and life stirred once more, exhausted though he was. His body craved her as his lungs needed to breathe air.

She turned her head and looked at him with a soft smile before leaving the room. Clark waited just a few seconds before pushing back the covers and standing up, grabbing his pants from where he’d tossed them the night before. After their first round of lovemaking, he’d gone out to make them something to eat, wrapping a blanket around his waist to preserve his modesty. Now that it was daylight, he chose to don his trousers, not sure if there were other people staying near the lake and not willing to take the chance of scandalising any visitor.

He left the room and found her at the wood stove, stirring eggs in a pan. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

“Mm, Clark,” she said with a sigh.

She offered no resistance as he continued embracing her, moving with her as she worked, adding tomatoes to the scrambled eggs. He reached for the pan, hoping to steal a piece of tomato, but she smacked his hand with the spoon, making him laugh.

They ate in the sun. It was still early, so the heat wasn’t as cloying as it usually was in the middle of the day. A fresh breeze blew softly over the heads, cooling the temperature just slightly so Lois sought comfort and warmth in his arms. He nuzzled her, breathing in the scent of her, the delicate jasmine fragrance of the soap she used in the bath.

“I saw Ella,” he said.

Lois hummed slightly. “Poor thing,” she said. “I had a terrible time with her.”

“Chloe told me,” he replied quietly, his stomach roiling at the thought that he could have lost her.

Lois turned in his arms, fingers brushing his cheek as she leaned forward and kissed him softly.

“I’m all right,” she said. “I’m here.”

He couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat. He gazed at her, unable to express the emotion. She seemed to understand anyway, holding him close, pressing her forehead against his.

He laced his fingers with hers, feeling a sickening lurch of guilt in his stomach as he brushed the gold band on her finger. It was a reminder that she wasn’t his; she belonged to another man.

Lois must have sensed his thoughts as she made him look at her.

“No,” she said. “Not now. We’re here; together.”

“Bruce,” he reminded her quietly.

“Is in Topeka,” she told him. “We haven’t been together for months, not since before Ella.”

Clark got to his feet and pulled her up with him, taking her hand and leading her away from the house. They walked along the shore in silence. Finally, Lois pulled him down. He stared at the waves breaking for a few moments.

“Why did you come?” she asked. “Why now?”

He had been trying to understand it himself. Was it just because he suddenly doubted his calling or was it that he wanted to know, just once, how it felt to be loved by her? To love something or someone else other than God?

“All my life I’ve been afraid, Lois.”

“Of what?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He sighed. “I was so young when my mother and father passed. I loved them so much, Lois, and I lost them.”

She brushed his cheek, but didn’t comment.

The truth was, he’d already lost so much when he’d been taken in by Lionel. He’d spent many nights crying, just eight years old, wondering why it had happened. He’d sought answers from his guardian. What could he have done differently? Was there something that would have saved them?

Lionel had eventually given him a Bible to read.

“God has a plan, my son,” he’d said.

Clark hadn’t known what his guardian had meant. He had struggled to read the passages, not knowing what they meant at first, and had constantly asked questions. Lionel had patiently explained the meaning behind the verses until eventually it had all made sense.

Then one hot summer’s day he had accompanied his guardian to meet the train to Smallville and had seen ten-year-old Lois, who looked so serious, trying to appear so grown up as she carried the tiny baby. He’d watched her as she struggled, almost cut off by virtue of the fact that she was the only girl in a family of boys.

He’d found himself drawn to her, as she was to him and wondered if part of God’s plan was for him to counsel her. For then, at just ten-years-old, he was convinced that he had been sent to Lionel to take up God’s work, to learn from his guardian.

How could he have known then that he would fall helplessly in love with the girl with long brown hair and sweet, beautiful face?

Yet he was still afraid. Having lost his mother and father, he feared that if he let himself love her, if he put her above what he saw was his calling, he would lose her too. After all, his parents had loved God, loved him, and they had still been taken. He feared that if he chose her, God would punish him by taking her.

“What kind of God would punish a man for loving a woman?” Lois asked quietly.

He could understand her ambivalence toward God. She had lost so much. Hal, her mother, her aunt Nell.

“I’ve been so afraid, Lois,” he repeated. “Afraid of everything I can’t control.” He touched her sweet face, stroked her cheek. “Then Chloe told me how close you came to dying. When I was faced with the thought of losing you forever, I … I realised there was something I would regret more than anything else, and that was not telling you the truth. I love you, Lois. I think I’ve always loved you.”

She smiled softly. “I know.”

“I know the odds are against us and we’d be risking everything …”

She placed a finger on his lips, shushing him.

“No,” she said. “Just love me, Clark.”

He kissed her, wrapping his arms around her and lowered her to the ground. They made love once more, even knowing there was a chance someone might happen upon them. For once in his life, Clark threw caution to the wind and gave everything of himself to her, his one true love, his everything.

Nothing else mattered but them in that moment in time.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lois has a decision to make.

For a week they swam and fished and walked along the shore. Nights were spent in her bed making love. For the first time in years, Lois was happy. She was with the man she loved and everything seemed right in the world.

But it was not to last.

She lay in bed one night as Clark slept beside her, holding her left hand up above her head. Moonlight shone in through the open drapes, glinting off the gold ring on her finger. As much as she wanted to take it off, she knew she couldn’t. Not yet, anyway.

She hadn’t told Clark yet, but she planned to return to Topeka only long enough to tell Bruce their marriage was over. Getting a divorce wasn’t going to be easy, she knew. The law didn’t take kindly to a couple breaking their vows and she had no idea how she was going to explain everything without involving Clark.

Her father would most likely try to tell her to go back to Bruce, but she knew she couldn’t. She wanted to be with Clark. He hadn’t said as much but she hoped he would choose her when he went back to his parish.

She understood what Clark had meant when he’d said the odds were against them, but somehow she couldn’t bring it in herself to care. For he was worth the risk. Their love was worth the risk.

“What are you thinking about?” Clark had rolled onto his side and was looking down at her.

Lois rolled over, propping herself up on one elbow as Clark’s hand sought her waist through the cotton nightgown she wore.

“Us,” she said. “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I just know I can’t leave you.”

“We can’t stay here forever,” she told him, just as quietly. “Sooner or later, they will find out.”

He didn’t ask who ‘they’ were, but it wasn’t necessary. She knew her family, or Bruce would start asking questions. She had a daughter who needed her and despite the rocky start, Lois couldn’t and wouldn’t abandon her child.

Clark rolled over, pushing her back down and lay half on top of her, kissing her gently.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I know,” she returned, wrapping her arms around his neck, silently begging for him to make love to her. He pulled at the hem of her nightgown, pulling it over her head, leaving her naked. She sighed softly as his lips took hers in a passionate kiss.

They lay awake for a while after making love once more. Lois propped herself up again on one elbow, her other hand lightly caressing his chest.

“How can this be so wrong?” she said.

He looked up at her, his eyes shining in the moonlight.

“I know.”

“Do you?”

He frowned at her. “What do you mean?”

“If you had to go back, if you had a chance to change things, turn back the clock, what would you choose?”

He sat up, rolling on his side.

“How can you ask me that, when you know what I would choose, knowing what I know now.”

She bit her lip. As happy as it made her to know that he would choose her, it wasn’t possible. Even if they could turn back time, she wondered if there would be some unknown consequence. Whether someone else would have to pay the price.

As bad as her marriage was, she didn’t think Bruce deserved the hand that Fate had dealt them. He’d been caught in the wake of her broken heart and she had let herself believe she could move on with someone else. Even if his intentions hadn’t been entirely honourable in marrying her.

“I don’t love him,” she confessed.

Clark looked at her. “I know,” he said.

“I don’t even know why …”

“Bruce married you only because Lionel promised him the money you earned from the farm.”

She’d suspected as much, but it still hurt to hear.

“I’m sorry,” Clark said, seeing her so upset.

“No, it’s all right. I think I knew that anyway.” She looked at him. “How did you know?”

“Lex. He knew of it through the firm he works for. They’re the executors for the estate.”

It probably wasn't ethical, Lex passing on that information, but Lois could understand why he had. He was just trying to help a friend.

“Oh.”

She wondered if Clark knew the truth about Lex’s father, but as much as she wanted to tell him, she wondered if he still cared for his former guardian. Clark ducked his head.

“There’s something else Lex told me,” he said. “Lionel …”

“Is Lex’s father,” she finished. “I know. I overheard Lex’s mother talking to Lionel the night Chloe and Oliver got married. I’m sorry, Clark,” she added, reaching for him to hold him close. “I’m so sorry. I know you cared about him.”

“I trusted him, and he lied to me. When I learned the truth, I realised that everything I thought I knew … it was all wrong. It made me wonder if Lex was right and Lionel had been pushing me into the priesthood.”

So that was why he had come to her, she thought. He doubted himself and his own capacity to make the right decision.

They continued to talk but nothing was said about what happened next. Lois had no idea if Clark would return to his parish and forget all about her, or if he would somehow find a way to come back to her. She just knew this was just a brief respite from the misery of their lives. Sooner or later they would have to face the consequences of their actions.

She woke the next morning to find the bed empty and knew he was gone. She rose, picking up her robe from the end of the bed and left the room, going out to the little porch. There on the table where they had eaten breakfast every morning was a single lily in a vase, and a note, neatly folded and tucked under the vase.

_Lois,_

_I once read of a mythical bird which sings only once in its life, as it dies, yet its song is the most beautiful of all birdsong. It reminds us that true beauty, true happiness does not come without pain._

_All my love,_

_Clark._

“Thorn bird,” Lois whispered, remembering the legend herself. A bird that died when it impaled itself on a thorn, singing with its dying breath.

She knew what he was trying to say. It didn’t make it any easier knowing he had left without saying goodbye, or telling her what he was going to do.

She was still determined to leave her husband, knowing she could no longer live a lie. She would give him anything he asked, except her daughter.

Lois had never been the type to just sit around and wait for things to happen. She decided she wasn’t going to wait for her husband to find her. Determined to get this over with as soon as humanly possible, she packed her bags and left the cottage. The man who had rented her the cottage drove her to the train station.

“Going home?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, refusing to be drawn on where exactly her home was. She twisted the gold band on her finger, wishing it was Clark’s rather than Bruce’s.

“Your husband … he’s gone now?”

She frowned at him, wondering for a moment what he meant, until she realised that he thought Clark was her husband. She chose not to correct him.

“He had some business to take care of, but we’re meeting up at home.”

“He worries about you, your husband. He told me you had been unwell.”

She nodded. “I’m better now,” she replied.

“That’s good missus.” He slowed the car and stopped it with a slight jerk. Lois got out of the vehicle and waited as he took her bags from the trunk. He tipped his hat as she handed him some money.

“Be well,” he said.

“Thank you.”

She was alone on the platform as she waited for the train to Topeka. Left alone with thoughts of the man she loved, wondering where he was, what he was doing.

It was late afternoon by the time the train arrived. Lois found her seat and stared out at the passing scenery without really seeing it, twisting the ring over and over.

When the train reached Topeka, she was hot and weary of travelling, yet she still had a few miles to go to the little station north of the city where Bruce was working. She had not arranged for anyone to meet her and was surprised to find one of the workers, who was seeing off his girl.

“Morning Missus,” he said. “Weren’t expecting you.”

“I know. Can you take me to the ranch?”

“Yes ma’am.”

He kept up a steady stream of chatter on the long drive but she didn’t respond. She was glad when she saw the gates of the ranch. Bruce was working on a fence with one of the other men, but looked up when she approached.

He regarded her silently.

“We need to talk,” she said.

“I’m working,” he replied brusquely.

There was nothing for it. “I want a divorce, Bruce.”

He nodded. “Figured that was coming.”

She frowned at him. “I see.”

“Do you?” he asked with a scowl. “Don’t think I don’t know what this is all about. It’s him, isn’t it? The one who left you.”

She bit her lip. There was no point in denying it, but she wanted to hit back at him.

“Had you been a better husband, then I might have been able to love you.”

Her words clearly stung him as he flinched visibly before turning away from her. The two men were watching the exchange.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

He shrugged. “Why not? It’s probably true. What will you do now?”

“Go back to Smallville. Raise my daughter.”

“Ella,” he said flatly. “Just as well. Girl around here … it’s no place for her.”

She’d been raised on a property similar to this and had done fine on her own. Still, she understood. The life could be tough.

She stayed long enough for them to work out the details. Bruce seemed philosophical, although she couldn’t help noticing as she left that a woman came to stand with him, watching her go. From the way the woman touched his arm, Lois had a suspicion that Bruce had found solace in someone else while she was gone. It made her feel less guilty about her own actions.

Bruce had suggested she talk to a lawyer. She knew exactly who she was going to talk to when she returned to Smallville.

Chloe was pleased to see her, hugging her.

“You look much better. The air must have agreed with you.”

Clark had agreed with her, she thought, but didn’t enlighten her sister-in-law. Chloe had clearly chosen not to mention Clark’s visit.

She heard Ella crying in the next room, but unlike the times before, the cry was one of a baby who had just woken up. Lois stopped Chloe and went into the tiny room, picking up her daughter. To her delight, Ella stopped crying immediately.

“Hello,” she said. “Hello my baby. Momma missed you so much.”

The baby touched her face with her little hand and Lois cuddled her daughter close. A rush of emotion hit her.

Over the next day or so, Lois focused on taking care of her daughter. Her father tried to talk to her and as she expected, tried to talk her into going back to Bruce. By now she had told Chloe and Oliver the whole story. Her eldest brother was all for finding Bruce and beating the tar out of him, but she told him not to.

Her father finally became resigned to the fact she was back in Smallville to stay. Father Lionel, on the other hand, was not happy.

“Marriage is sacred,” he told her, taking her aside a few days after she had returned. “The church …”

“I don’t care about the church,” she replied. “I’m not going back to Bruce. He doesn’t love me. He never did.”

Lionel scoffed. “Marriage is not about love, young Lois. You will learn that soon enough.”

She stared evenly at him. “What is that saying? ‘Let those who are without sin cast the first stone’?”

“And what are you implying?” he asked, clearly uncomfortable by her stare.

“I think you know … Father. Do not pretend for even a moment that you are better than I because you are a man of God. At least I take responsibility for my mistakes.”

He stared back at her, his face pale. She kept her body rigid, glaring back at him, refusing to back down. He slowly realised he wasn’t going to win and walked away.

Lex wrote to her, telling her he would do what he could on his end. His solution was to petition the court for a dissolution based on abandonment. Bruce had hardly shown a commitment to the marriage by packing her off back to Smallville before she gave birth and had never shown any desire to visit her while she was still recovering from the birth. A loving husband, Lex reasoned, would have immediately been on the first train back.

The subject of Clark was avoided, even though everyone knew he had come to Smallville to see her all those weeks ago. Yet as time passed, Lois realised it would have to be discussed sooner or later. She was going to have another baby.


	11. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark makes a decision

Clark had had no plan in mind when he returned to his parish. Yet his flock seemed to notice that something had changed. A couple of his parishioners had commented on how unhappy he appeared to be. Clark had done his best not to show his misery at being separated once again from his love, but his sermons, as thoughtful as they had always been, lacked the life and passion he’d once seemed to have.

Lex visited a few weeks after Clark’s return from the lake and tried to draw Clark out on his emotional state.

“Clark, I’m concerned about you,” Lex said late one evening as they sat in the garden. “Since you returned from Smallville, you seem so different. So … lost.”

“I can’t, Lex.”

Clark turned weary eyes to his friend, brushing a hand across them. He barely slept anymore. His heart ached for his love, yet his guilty conscience would not let up. Lois’ words that morning, the night after he’d made love to her for the first time, echoed in his ears.

_What kind of God would punish a man for loving a woman?_

That was what he was most afraid of. That God would smite him for the sin of breaking his vows to the church. For making love with her. For putting her above all else. Above his flock. Lionel would have told him he was wrong - that he should love all his flock equally. Lionel, the hypocrite, Clark thought darkly.

His dark thoughts must have shown in his expression as Lex seemed alarmed.

“Clark, whatever you’re thinking …”

“I’m all right,” he said.

“No, you’re not. It’s Lois, isn’t it? What happened in Smallville?”

Lex clearly had no idea Clark had gone to the lake to see Lois, or he would know the whole story. It seemed that Chloe had not spoken to anyone of the matter, least of all her brother.

Clark wanted to confess all to his friend, but he needed to protect Lois. If her husband knew what they had done, if the authorities should discover it, she could lose everything. She didn’t care about the money from the farm. She’d told him Bruce could keep the stipend. She wanted for little. As long as she could still work on the farm, live with her family and her daughter, nothing else mattered.

He had no idea what to do. He could leave his parish behind and return to Smallville, but then what kind of life would he be able to offer Lois? He could not continue as a priest and live with her in sin, help her raise her daughter. People talked and eventually the whole story would come out. He couldn’t allow her to live with that kind of scandal. The Lanes were respected in Smallville. Sam Lane and his sons were known as hard-working men who were also pillars of the community.

Sam would be angry. Oliver would be confused and Lois’ other brothers might turn their backs on them.

Clark often thought of his parents and what they would have said if they had been alive. Then again, if they had, he doubted very much it would have ever come to this. If he and Lois had always been destined to be together, he was sure they would have still met and fallen in love and there would have been no church. His folks had been God-fearing people but he was sure his father would never have pushed him into becoming a priest.

He could no longer be angry at Lionel. The man was in no position to cast stones and had made his mistakes, but those mistakes were his and his alone. Was he right to influence Clark’s path to his own destiny? Perhaps not, but Clark had thought he knew his own mind. He’d turned to the church thinking it would give him the answers he desperately needed, but instead he had found them in the beautiful woman who was now his lover.

Clark continued on, trying to push thoughts of her out of his mind, hoping a solution would present itself eventually. He had hoped that Lois would have sent him letters or some kind of communication, even via her sister-in-law, but as the seasons turned, changing from summer to fall to winter, there was nothing. He had sent a letter himself, hesitating even as he gave it to the postmaster, wondering if there was any point, but she had never replied.

He was working one afternoon, picking up the Bibles his parishioners had left behind. The late afternoon sun streamed in through the stained glass windows of the church, giving it a little light to work by as he cleaned. Clark placed the volumes neatly in the bookshelf which lined the walls of the small office he used when he needed to counsel people.

He shivered. The fire he’d lit to warm the church before the service had long died out and the winter sun, while still reasonably bright, hadn’t warmed the building at all.

A door slammed, reminding Clark of the wind which had blown around the building while he conducted the service, causing windows to rattle and the few who had come to church that day to shiver as the cold draught hit them.

He went back out to check that the doors hadn’t blown open and his eyes widened as he took in his visitor. The man smiled and walked toward him, arms outstretched. Clark smiled, closing the gap and embraced the older man.

“Father Joel,” he said.

“Hello, my son.”

They exchanged greetings and talked as Clark worked, sweeping the floor. There was little money left over from the tithe to employ someone to clean, but he didn’t mind. He had always helped out on the farm as a boy and it was not back-breaking work.

Once he was done, Father Joel followed him to his cottage and sat at the little table while Clark made them tea.

“I had a visit from a friend of yours a few days ago,” Father Joel told him.

Clark raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Alexander. He seemed very concerned about you and now I see his fears were not unfounded. You do not look well, my son.”

“I …” Clark was going to tell his mentor that there was nothing wrong, but Father Joel had always been able to see right through him.

“Something troubles you,” the older priest observed.

Clark had often wondered why the older man preferred to teach and hadn’t been promoted, but his teacher had told him that he felt he was at his best when he was counselling the young priests.

The kettle boiled and Clark made the tea, sitting opposite his mentor. He knew if anyone would listen without judgement it would be this man.

He found himself telling the older man the whole story. Joel listened, sipping his tea.

“And now you’re torn,” he observed.

Clark nodded. “I love her, Father, but I don’t see how I can be with her. Not if I want to protect her. I just know that I can no longer serve God. Not with a clear conscience.”

“Yes, I understand your dilemma. Leaving the church is perhaps the best thing you can do in the circumstances, but understand this, if you wish to marry this woman, the church would never recognise your marriage.”

Clark nodded. He had known that. The church believed in the sanctity of marriage. Lois would have to divorce Bruce and even then there were so many complications. The church, or his church at least, would never accept it. Even if the Pope were to grant his wish to marry.

“Clark, if this had been five years ago, before you had been ordained, it would perhaps have been easier. You know you can never be a layman in the eyes of the church even if you do choose to resign your parish.”

He frowned at the older man.

“What do you mean?”

“You will always be a priest, even if you never give another sermon. That is why you must have special permission from your superiors if you wish to marry under the Catholic banner.”

“What do I do then? If she divorces her husband, the church will never accept us. But I can’t force her to live in sin. It would be wrong. The community would never accept us either. I couldn’t do that to her.”

“You could take her away from the community. Marry her in another church.”

That was a possibility, but he didn’t want to make that choice for her. Besides, she had been baptised a Catholic, as he was. It had been years since Sam had even been to church, to the best of Clark’s knowledge, but he still preferred his family live by Catholic principles. Lois had been married in a Catholic ceremony, as had Oliver and Chloe.

He shook his head. “Her family is there.”

“Is it not better to start afresh somewhere else than subject her to the prying eyes of her neighbours?” The priest put a comforting hand on his wrist. “You wish to protect her, but this is not just your decision to make, my son. Barring the legal difficulties of her dissolving her marriage, the consequences of your actions may be painful for all concerned.”

Clark recalled the allegory of the thorn bird; anything that was worth fighting for didn’t come without a great cost. The question was, would Lois be willing to pay that cost?

Father Joel was right. He had no right to make that decision for her. He would go to Smallville and give her that chance. He owed it to her.

Clark knew the path he was choosing wasn’t going to be easy. Father Joel informed him that he would still need to meet with the church superiors. Clark worried about the meeting, concerned they might punish him for not only breaking the vow of celibacy, but also breaking a commandment. His mentor was supportive, however, and promised he would speak in his defence if necessary.

The bishop of the diocese agreed to meet with them privately. Clark stood quietly, his hands clasped behind his back as his superior stood before him. He’d already confessed what he’d done.

“I’m concerned, Father Kent,” he said. “Tell me, what prompted you to seek out this woman?”

Clark glanced uneasily at Father Joel. He hadn’t wanted to expose Father Lionel. The man had his own demons to face where that was concerned. His mentor just nodded.

“I learned some things about someone I trusted,” Clark told his superior. “He … lied to me. I began to question my decision to commit myself to the church.”

“Who is this man?” Bishop Stern asked.

“Uh, Father Lionel, sir.”

“You claim he lied to you? What was this untruth?”

Clark bit his lip. “I …”

“Clark, it will not leave this room. I promise you that,” Father Joel assured him.

“He has a son, who was conceived after the father was ordained.” He looked steadily at Bishop Stern. “Lionel raised me, sir, when my mother and father passed away. I began to question whether he had influenced my decision. I needed … I wanted to … I loved her, sir. I still love her. More than I love the church.”

“Yes, I see. You do understand that by breaking your commitment to the church, by being with this woman, you have committed a sin against God?”

“Yes sir, I understand. But … I don’t know how to explain it, sir. I know when my day comes I will be judged on that. It’s just, she’s everything.”

“She must be a very special woman, this Lois,” the older man said kindly.

“Yes sir, she is.”

The man smiled suddenly and Clark relaxed, feeling the tension leave him.

“From what you have confessed to me, I can see why you love this woman so. The Bible teaches many things, but so can the people who come and go in our lives.” The bishop placed a gentle hand on Clark’s shoulder. “What the Bible doesn’t teach is that sometimes there are things worth the sacrifice. Worth the cost. I give you my blessing, my son. Sadly, I cannot sanctify your marriage to her. Even if I were to petition the church, it is unlikely it will grant an annulment.”

Clark nodded. Father Joel had already prepared him for that. What happened from here was up to Lois.

It took only a few short weeks before he was able to finally leave his post. Lex, who lived alone in a two-bedroom apartment, offered to let him stay in the second bedroom until he could decide what to do.

“You know, Lois wrote to me, asking me to help her with her divorce,” Lex told him as they moved Clark’s belongings.

“It’s odd,” Clark said, frowning. “I wrote a letter, but she never replied.”

Lex smiled and patted his shoulder. “Perhaps she just has a lot going on and hasn’t had time to write. I know she cares for you, Clark. She doesn’t mention you in her letters, but I do know how she feels.”

“Do you think the court will grant the divorce?” Clark asked.

“I see no reason why they wouldn’t. Bruce has as much as admitted that he wasn’t as committed to the marriage as he pretended to be. Plus, there is talk that he already has a mistress. A woman named Selina.”

As angry as Clark was over Bruce’s treatment of Lois, he couldn’t help feeling that she was better off now that she was divorcing her husband. Even if they couldn’t be together, he was happy that she was with her family rather than with a man who clearly didn’t care about her.

Lex looked around at the boxes in the room. A single bed stood in the middle, surrounded by Clark’s belongings, which were meagre.

“Well, this is the last of it, I think.”

“Thank you for helping me, Lex.”

His friend shrugged. “What are friends for? Have you decided what you’re going to do for work?”

“Not yet,” he admitted. “I thought about applying for work at a farm, but getting a job is difficult right now.”

Lex nodded. “I know. It’s even worse now that there are rumblings overseas.”

Clark had seen the newsreels at the theatre on what was happening in Europe and Asia, but it all seemed so far away and hardly likely to affect life here at home. There were still thousands of men out of work and struggling in the cities and as far as Clark was concerned, that wasn’t likely to change.

His first priority was going back to Smallville. Telling Lois what he had done and giving her the chance to decide if she wanted to be with him.

Lex offered to go with him, as he wanted to see his nephew. They travelled down on the train together and were met by Oliver.

“Hello Lex,” he said, then smiled at Clark. “Hello Clark.”

“Oliver.”

“How is little Jon?” Lex asked his brother-in-law.

“A terror,” the blond man replied with a grin. “He’s already terrorising his mother.”

“I’ve no doubt,” Lex returned wryly. “Chloe was as much a terror at four.”

Oliver laughed. “Come on,” he said, picking up their bags. “I know Chloe would love to see you.”

The journey seemed shorter as Oliver talked while he drove, pointing out various changes in the town. Smallville had changed in the three years since Chloe and Oliver had married. New stores dotted the main street. It seemed that the town had been untouched by the economic woes that had gone on in the cities. Oliver explained that they had been extremely lucky with both the stock and the crops on the farms. Smallville was still very much a farming town, but it was growing.

Chloe stepped out of the cottage, followed by a fair-haired little boy aged about two years old. He ran past his mother and practically leaped off the porch at his father.

“Daddy, Daddy!”

“What have you been up to, you little monster?” his father asked, swinging the boy around, a huge grin on his face. He clearly adored his son.

A little girl toddled from the doorway, sucking her thumb. Clark guessed this was Ella. She was about six months younger than her cousin and as dark as he was fair.

“Ella, sweetie, don’t run away,” a voice said.

Clark started toward the cottage only to stop in his tracks as Lois came out. He stared in shock. She was quite noticeably pregnant. Lois stared back at him, wide-eyed.

“Clark!”


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark returns to Smallville to a surprise

Lois could only look back at her lover in shock. No one had warned her he was coming, or else she would have been more prepared. Chloe glanced at her, clearly just as surprised. A baby’s wail could be heard from inside the cottage. Chloe sighed.

“Alexander,” she said, turning to go back inside the cottage to tend to her infant son.

Clark’s gaze shifted from Lois’ pale face to the rounded swelling of Lois’ belly. His expression darkened and she wondered if he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. He glanced at Lex, then turned and began walking away, clearly upset.

Lois knew she had to go after him. She sent a pleading look to her brother, who nodded.

“We’ll look after Ella,” he said. “Go.”

Lois did her best to get her cumbersome body down the steps and hurried after Clark. It wasn’t easy. He was much taller than her and had very long strides. She was almost to term and couldn’t run.

Panting heavily, she walked as quickly as possible, thinking about the past few months. When she had discovered she was pregnant, she had confessed everything to her brother and sister-in-law, swearing them to secrecy, knowing how it could affect her divorce. Not that Bruce cared, she gathered from the letter he had sent her. It had only been two paragraphs, amounting to him wishing her well, but at the same time absolving himself of any responsibility toward her.

“Clark, please!” she called out, her hand on her belly. Whether he heard her, she didn’t know.  
Suddenly pain ripped through her.

“Oh no!” she cried out. She knew what this was. With Ella, she had been bedridden for two weeks before she gave birth but this time, she had been able to work in the house as normal. Even Dr Emil had been happier this time around.

Another pain caused her stomach to cramp and she cried out again. The next thing she knew, she was being swept up in strong arms and carried back to the cottage.

She heard her brother cry out in alarm.

“Lois?”

Chloe ordered her husband to fetch Dr Emil in town.

“Hurry!” she said. “Clark, carry her to the bedroom.”

Lois felt herself carried into another room and placed on a soft mattress. A gentle hand brushed her hair back, then squeezed her hand, but she was in too much pain to respond.

“You’re safe now,” Clark said.

She vaguely realised she had dozed off with that hand still holding hers as she heard voices in the other room.

“How long has she …” Dr Emil was asking.

“We don’t know. We hadn’t noticed anything, but she did get a bit of a shock this afternoon,” Oliver told the man.

“Hmm, all right. Let me go in and examine her.”

The door opened and Lois tried to sit up. She noticed Clark still sitting beside her. He smiled and she returned his smile uncertainly.

“It’s all right,” he said softly. “I’ll just be outside.”

Her eyes followed as he passed the doctor and quietly left the room. Emil smiled at her.

“Well, young Lois, how are you feeling?”

“I’m all right,” she said, not wanting to admit she was a little confused. After all, Clark had been walking away from her when it had happened. Why did he seem happier all of a sudden? She bit her lip as the physician pushed back the covers and began gently examining her.

Had Chloe or Oliver told Clark the child was his?

Her belly cramped and she gasped. Emil put a hand on her bump. He took out his sphygmomanometer, wrapping the cuff around her arm and pumping the little bulb to get a reading.

“Your blood pressure is a little high,” he said, “but perfectly normal for a woman in your condition. Your baby seems to be in the right position so I don’t anticipate any problems as when young Ella was born.”

Lois frowned at him, trying to remember what had happened. All she knew was that Ella had been breech. She knew how serious that could be, how serious it had been for her. After all, she had grown up on a farm where young animals were born all the time, and some mothers had even died from such complications. Yet Emil seemed optimistic this time.

He excused himself and left the room. Lois lay back. The painful contractions had eased, but she knew from experience that it wouldn’t last that way for long. She had no idea how long her labour was going to be. Chloe had only been in labour for about six hours before she had little Alexander, named, of course, for the brother she adored.

Chloe came into the room and sat with her.

“Clark,” she muttered.

“He’s just outside. He’s not going anywhere,” her sister-in-law assured her. “He’s too worried about you.”

“Does he … does he …” She struggled to breathe through the contraction.

“He knows, sweetie. I told him.”

Sweat broke out on her forehead as the pain of the contraction worsened. Yet it still didn’t feel anything nearly as bad as when she’d been giving birth to Ella. Then it had felt like her entire body was being ripped apart.

She often wondered whether that also had something to do with her initial ambivalence toward her daughter. That had changed somewhat since her return to Smallville. She was happier and by extension that had made her daughter happier.

“Lois, there’s something I need to confess,” Chloe said as Lois relaxed again.

“What is it?”

“I’ve been keeping something from you. A letter from Clark.”

She frowned at the blonde. “Why would you do that?”

“Oliver thought it was best. Clark said in the letter he was thinking about leaving the church. We didn’t know if that was even possible, or what might happen. We didn’t know if he was going to come back to Smallville. The last thing either of us wanted was for you to have your heart broken all over again.”

Lois bit her lip. On the one hand, she realised her family had just been trying to protect her and she couldn’t be angry at them for that. On the other hand, she had every right to be upset at them for making that kind of decision without even giving her a chance to decide for herself what she wanted or needed.

As the shadows lengthened, she heard more voices rumbling in the next room, including her father’s. He was clearly back from the fields. Lucy, who was thirteen, older than Lois was when she began helping her mother take care of Hal, was clearly doing her best to keep the young children entertained.

It was going to be a long night.

Clark paced up and down the small parlour. The cottage had been built on since Sam and Ella had moved in fourteen years earlier. Oliver and his brothers had managed to fix it up, adding on a couple of rooms to accommodate Chloe and Oliver’s expanding family.

Chloe had told him that Lois had moved in to the cottage, wanting the children to be closer. She’d never really been comfortable living in the big house, Clark thought reasonably.

He had been stunned, at first, when he’d seen her on the porch, then hurt, thinking she had gone back to her husband, even after everything he had given up for her. He’d turned his back on her and began walking away, not wanting her to see him angry. Another part of him was afraid for her, knowing how she had been so ill following Ella’s birth. He couldn’t stand the thought of coming back to her only to lose her once more.

He’d heard her calling out to him, begging him to come back, but he’d kept walking until he heard her cries of pain. He’d whirled, seeing, even at the distance of several yards, her pale face and the way she was clutching her belly. Clark had dashed to her, faster than he had ever thought possible, adrenaline taking him to her side before she could collapse, scooping her up in his arms and running with her to the cottage.

Chloe had immediately taken charge, ordering her husband to fetch the doctor from town. Lex had set to helping his sister settle the children, while Clark had carried Lois into her room and placed her on the bed.

He’d held her hand, comforting her as she moaned in pain, until she dozed off. Chloe had slipped into the room a little while later.

“Oliver will be back soon with Dr Emil,” she said quietly.

Clark nodded, watching Lois. She seemed so pale and he worried, knowing what was coming. He had been present at a few births, albeit in another room, and he hadn’t been able to bear the sounds of the women in pain.

“Clark, Lois will be all right. She’s strong.”

“She almost died, with Ella,” he said.

“Dr Emil seems to think this time it’s different. Lois is different.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“When she came back to Smallville, before Ella, she was not herself. Desperately unhappy. She never said a word about what Bruce had done, but Oliver and I knew the marriage was not good. He wanted to confront Bruce, but I told him it was Lois’ business.”

“You knew?” he asked. “Lois didn’t think you knew.”

“We let her think that. We didn’t want to upset her. She was unwell both before and after Ella was born. Her health was delicate for a long time. That’s why we sent her to the lake, without Ella. She needed time to recuperate.”

“Why is now different?” he asked, his watchful gaze still on his lover. She moaned softly in her sleep and he could see her belly moving, cramping.

“When she came back from the lake, she was glowing with health. She was happy. Then she told us she was going to have another baby and we knew it could not have been Bruce’s. Especially when she told us the truth of her marriage.”

Clark stared at Chloe. What did she mean, not Bruce’s child? Chloe clearly read the confusion in his expression.

“Clark, don’t you understand? The child is yours.”

He couldn’t hide his delight. It was unexpected, but a wonderful surprise just the same. The love of his life was about to give him a gift from God. He couldn’t help but think about his mother and how she had once told him he was her gift from God.

Chloe left the room, going out to greet the doctor. Clark heard Lois moan and glanced at her. She was opening her eyes.

Finally the doctor came in and Clark left, going out to the parlour. He waited anxiously as the doctor examined Lois, standing back when the man came out.

“In spite of the circumstances, Lois is in excellent health,” Dr Hamilton proclaimed. “I believe it will just be a matter of hours before the baby comes.”

Chloe had gone into Lois’ room to support her sister-in-law. Meanwhile, Lois’ father had joined the little group, which now included Lois’ sister, Lucy, who was doing her best to look after the young children. Like her older sister before her, she had taken up child care duties.

Sam seemed puzzled by his presence, but Oliver took his father aside and, Clark was sure, was explaining that Clark was no longer a priest. The Lane patriarch sent him odd looks, but didn’t question him.

Clark felt Lex pull him down to the sofa.

“Keep pacing and you’ll wear a hole through the floorboards,” his friend said with a smile.

Clark sent him a half-smile, still anxious about his lover.

“I know you’re worried, but I have a feeling Lois will be all right. She’s strong.”

“I can’t help it, Lex.”

He watched the grandfather clock on the wall opposite the sofa, wishing he could be in the room with her, holding her, taking away the pain. As each hour passed, he grew even more anxious, imagining the worst. He thought he heard screams coming from within and started toward the door, only for Oliver to stop him.

The children grew fractious, clearly sensing the adults’ concerns. Ella began crying for her mother and no amount of rocking by Lucy could calm her. Finally, needing something to do, Clark approached Lucy.

“May I?” he asked.

She sighed and nodded, clearly thinking anything might help at this point. Clark picked up the little girl and began pacing the room with her, talking to her softly. He’d always had an affinity with children and it seemed little Ella was no exception. She eventually calmed, falling asleep with her head on his shoulder. Lucy showed him where to put the little girl down and he gently laid her down in the crib, covering her with a soft blanket.

He tiptoed back out to the parlour, just as the door to Lois’ room opened. Chloe came out with a little bundle in her arms. She looked up, her gaze directed at him. He bit his lip, hesitating as the blonde made a beeline for him. Sam Lane made a soft sound of surprise as Chloe handed Clark the bundle.

“You have a son,” she said.

With a trembling hand, Clark gently pulled back the blanket and looked down at the tiny face of his son. His face was red, the skin appearing a little raw from the aftermath of the birth, but he was beautiful.

“Lois would like very much to see you,” Oliver’s wife told him.

He looked up at her. “How is she?” he asked.

“Tired and sore, but very happy.”

Clark followed Chloe into the room, oblivious to the stunned expression on Sam’s face. The doctor was helping Lois get comfortable in the bed. Her hazel eyes sought him out. She was clearly exhausted but her face was glowing.

He sat down on the bed beside her, not sure how to hold the tiny baby. Lois held out her arms and he gently placed his son in his mother’s arms.

“He looks just like you, Clark,” Lois said softly, her arms cradling the infant.

“What shall we name him?” he asked.

“Samuel Hiram,” she said, without hesitation. It seemed she had it already figured out.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Hiram?” he replied, remembering that had been the name of his father’s father. Lois looked sternly at him.

“Something wrong with Hiram?”

“No, no,” he said hastily. “Of course not.”

“Good,” she muttered.

Clark couldn’t help grinning to himself. Lois had always been a force to be reckoned with. When they’d been children, she had always been the one to take the lead when it came to games they would play, or books they would read.

They sat in rapt silence, watching their son as he slept. Clark was well aware he would have to face Lois’ family and explain everything but right now all he could think about was his new family.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lois recovers from the birth and the couple talk about their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know things are not as angsty as they were. I didn't want to dwell on things. However, given the time period, there is still a little bit of angst to come.

Lois had dozed off and Clark had placed the baby in the little crib he remembered Oliver had crafted for his mother when she had had the twins. He couldn’t help hearing Lois’ father talking rather loudly, while Oliver was trying to calm him down.

Glancing at his love in the bed, relieved she appeared to be sleeping soundly, Clark went out. Both Lex and Oliver were trying to shush the older man, who glared at Clark.

“I want to know the meaning of this,” he said. “Why are you even here?”

“Lois is sleeping,” Clark told Chloe before looking at the older man. “Sir, I know you’re upset, but please, Lois needs her rest.”

“Don’t tell me what my daughter needs,” the man practically snarled. Lex and Oliver shushed him once again.

The doctor had already left and Lucy was nowhere to be seen. Clark assumed she had gone back up to the main house. The door to the children’s room was closed and it appeared they had been put to bed.

“Papa, please, you need to calm down,” Oliver told his father.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t get my shotgun,” the older man growled.

“Because I love her, sir,” Clark told him. “And Lois loves me. She would never forgive you …” He left the rest unsaid, watching as the eldest Lane slowly calmed, clearly coming to an understanding.

“How is this possible?” Sam asked. “You’re a priest.”

“Not anymore,” Clark told him. The older man frowned. Slowly, Clark began to relate his meeting with the bishop and his release from the priesthood. He had been expecting it to be much more difficult than it was, but Bishop Stern had shown great compassion and understanding.

Oliver and Chloe interjected, reminding Sam of Lois’ unhappiness in her marriage and how Clark and Lois had met at the lake.

“Why would you do this?” Sam asked. “You and Lois?”

“I learned some things which made me question everything I thought I understood, about myself, about the world.”

“What things?” Clark shook his head in denial. Sam didn’t need to know the details about Lionel’s hypocrisy.

“It matters little. My one regret is that I never thought to question these things before I broke Lois’ heart. I knew how she felt about me but I never told her then that those feelings were returned. I thought I knew what I wanted but now I know that she is the one I needed.”

“What do you intend now?” the elder Lane asked.

Clark knew the man’s acceptance wasn’t going to come that easy, but it seemed he was at least willing to be open-minded, despite his concerns for Lois and his anger. The one thing Clark had always known was that Sam Lane loved his children dearly and wanted them to be happy.

“Sir, I would marry her tomorrow if I could find a way.”

“The Catholic church will never accept it,” the man pointed out.

“Not the Catholic church, no,” Lex interjected, speaking for the first time since Clark had begun his story. “There are other churches which will. However, Lois is still legally married to Bruce and it will still be several months before the court will grant the divorce. This is something even I cannot speed up as they require a statutory period of separation to prove that the marriage has truly been abandoned.”

Clark glanced at his friend, glad of his support.

“There is one other option,” Lex told him. “You don’t have to marry in a church at all. All you need is a judge or a city official.”

As much as Clark wanted his marriage sanctified in the church, he had known it would never be recognised, but as Lex explained, he realised there was hope. If Lois was willing to go along with it. Even Sam, who was more concerned about following the law, if not God’s law, seemed to like that option.

Ultimately, it was Lois’ decision. However, there was one more hurdle.

“What about the people in town?” Sam asked. “Will they accept you?”

It was more than likely they would accept it to their faces, but behind their backs it would be a different story. Clark could live with the gossip and the judgement, but he couldn’t and wouldn’t allow Lois to be subjected to that. People could be cruel. People like Lana, who considered themselves models of perfection.

Lana now lived in town, married to a man whose family owned the local department store, Fordmans. From what he had heard, she was just as spoiled as ever, considering herself above everyone else simply because she was married to a rich man’s son. Not that that really meant anything in these harsh economic times. The department store was barely keeping its head above water.

Clark recalled his mentor’s words. Father Joel had told him that perhaps it would be better for both him and Lois to get a fresh start somewhere else. He didn’t want to drag Lois away from her family, if that wasn’t what she wanted. Yet how could he ask her to be with him knowing what they could be facing?

It was three days before Lois was pronounced well enough to get out of bed. Clark had wanted to stay by his lover’s bedside, keeping watch over her, but even Sam had told him he needed his rest too, sending him to the main house to sleep. He spent every waking hour at the cottage, hovering anxiously until Lois grew impatient with him, sending him out to help with a few chores on the farm.

She was as bossy as she had always been throughout their childhood and he loved her more for it.

He was watching little Jonathan play with his cousin in the yard when the door of the cottage opened and Lois came out, holding the baby. He turned and smiled at her before turning back to make sure the children were not getting into difficulties. Oliver had set up a small area in the yard, fencing it off so the children couldn’t go wandering, but Clark still remembered the day Hal had been bitten by a snake.

He heard the baby cooing and saw Lois was sitting on the porch swing, rocking him, looking down at her son with a rapt expression. She must have realised he was watching as she looked up at him and held her hand out.

“I should watch the children,” he said.

“You can watch them from here,” she replied. “Come sit down. We haven’t really had much chance to talk.”

He ascended the steps to the porch and sat next to her.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked.

She half-scowled and punched his shoulder.

“You know very well what I want to talk about, Clark Kent! So stop avoiding the issue.”

“Bossy as ever,” he proclaimed.

“Thin ice, Kent,” she told him and he laughed, loving the way she responded to his teasing. It felt as if they had never been apart.

“Clark …”

There were so many things he wanted to tell her. How he had chosen to leave the priesthood and the church behind. How much her love meant to him. Yet he remained silent, gently stroking their baby’s tiny body.

“When we were at the lake, you said some things. You told me you were afraid.”

He looked at her, losing himself in the depths of her beautiful hazel eyes.

“I was. In many ways, I still am. Of what we’ve done, of what led to this moment. But despite that, I feel that as long as we’re together, I can face anything.”

“I love you,” she said.

He leaned toward her and kissed her tenderly.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lois Lane.”

“So do I,” she whispered against his lips. They kissed again, briefly. Clark turned his head to watch the two children who seemed to be having a conversation themselves.

“What about the church?”

He told her everything, from the support of his mentor to his surprise at the support of Bishop Stern.

“You gave it up. For me,” she said.

“Yes,” he replied simply.

“What will you do now?”

“Find work,” he said. “Somewhere.”

“Why not here? On the farm?”

He bit his lip. Lois studied him, shifting the baby in her arms.

“Let me take him,” he offered, taking the bundle, supporting the head as he’d been taught. The baby kicked at his blanket, seeming restless.

“Clark?”

“Lois, I want to be with you, more than anything. But I don’t know if I can stay here. Father Joel thought it might be best to make a fresh start, somewhere else.”

“You’d leave Smallville? But what about us?”

“Not just me, Lois. Both of us. We can go somewhere where no one knows us.”

“My family’s here,” she said.

He nodded. He knew she wouldn’t leave her family.

“Lois, I can’t stand by and watch someone like Lana tear you apart because of me. I can take anything they throw at me, but if I … if we stay …”

“I don’t care about them,” she said. “All I care about is you. And our children.” She sighed. “Papa and I had a long talk last night, while you were working up at the house. I know people will talk and probably say horrible things, but I don’t care about any of that. I love you, and I’m not going to let you walk away just to protect me.”

He loved her spirit. She had never really cared what people thought of her and it was one of the things he’d always admired about her. He understood why she wanted to stay. Everyone she loved was here. Everything she knew was here.

The decision was made.

Early the next morning, Clark made his way down from the main house to meet Oliver. As much as he wanted to sleep with Lois, he was respecting his future father-in-law’s wishes.

As he opened the gate, he heard raised voices from inside.

“I thought I made my wishes clear. I didn’t want you here.”

“The child must be …”

“I don’t care,” Lois was saying.

Clark ran up the porch steps and opened the screen door. He stopped short, seeing the tall figure confronting Lois. Jon and Ella were playing in the corner with a wooden toy their grandpa had made for them.

“Lionel.”

The older man turned and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Clark. I heard you had returned.”

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I am trying to prevent a grave error.”

“And what error would that be?” Clark asked cautiously. “Are you suggesting Lois goes back to Topeka?”

“Her child needs a name.”

“He has a name,” Lois told him. “Samuel Hiram … Kent.”

Lionel looked startled. “I’m afraid I …”

“I think Lois has made herself perfectly clear,” Clark replied, putting an arm around his lover’s shoulders. “As soon as Lois’ marriage is dissolved, she and I will be married.”

“Yes, I heard you had chosen to leave the priesthood. The church will never recognise your marriage.”

“We won’t be marrying within the church,” Lois answered, glaring at him evenly. “And frankly, I don’t think it’s any of your business. This may be your parish, Father, but you will no longer be welcome here.”

“The church …”

“Yes, the church owns the property, but not you,” Lex interjected, entering the cottage. “And as the estate’s legal representative, I am petitioning the church to have you transferred to another parish.”

“You cannot … Nell Potter expressly wished …”

“Nell Potter’s will stated the land would go to the church, but would continue to be administered by the Lanes as long as one lived. There was never any request by her to have you continue on as its priest. I would be loath to accuse you of personal bias, given your relationship with Mrs Potter, however ….”

Lionel huffed, glaring at Lex.

“You assume too much, boy.”

“I’m sure if I questioned Mrs Lang, I would find the conversation very enlightening. You have done enough damage here. I suggest you leave before you do any more.”

The two men stared each other down. Clark looked at the older man. He had suspected there was more to Lionel’s ‘friendship’ with Nell Potter, but had trusted his former guardian. Now that he knew Lionel had fathered a son and then chosen to ignore that son’s existence, it came as no surprise.

With one final glare at Lex, Lionel left. Clark kissed Lois’ cheek.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She nodded. “It’s all right, love.” The sound of a baby crying could be heard from her room. Lois turned her head and started to move toward the bedroom. Meanwhile, Chloe and Oliver had come out of their room. Chloe had baby Alexander in her arms, clearly having just fed him.

“I’ll get him,” Clark offered.

He opened the door to Lois’ room and picked up the baby, cradling him gently. Immediately the infant ceased crying and began cooing instead. Clark smiled down at his son.

“There you go. Are you hungry? Want your momma?”

The boy made a sound as if agreeing with his father’s suggestion. He carried the baby out to his mother. Lois eagerly took their son and sat in the rocking chair, unbuttoning her shirt to feed him.

Lex and Oliver were talking quietly. Lois’ brother looked up at him.

“Sorry about that. Alex was screaming the place down and we were trying to get him to calm down.”

Lois shook her head. “It’s all right, Ollie. I can take care of myself you know.”

Oliver smiled at his sister. “You always could.”

Jon ran up to Lex, begging to be picked up.

“Hello young man,” Lex said, smiling.

“Uncle Lex, you gonna stay here?”

“Sorry, buddy. I have to get back to the city.”

Jon looked disappointed. Lex pinched his nose.

“Hey, I’ll be back in a few months. I promise.”

The boy wrapped his little arms around his uncle’s neck and hugged him. Lex grinned, then handed Jon over to his father. Chloe had put the baby down in the crib in the children’s room and followed her brother to the door.

Clark glanced at Lois, who smiled up at him, nodding her head toward the siblings. Clark grinned back at her and went outside, watching as Chloe and Lex embraced.

“You take care of my nephews,” he said.

“Always,” Chloe smiled. “Love you.”

“I love you too, little sis.”

She wrinkled her nose at him before going back inside. Clark joined his friend on the porch.

“Wish you could stay,” he said.

“I know, but I really do need to get back.” He sighed. “I was thinking. It may not happen in the near future, but one day, perhaps, I can start my own practice in town. I would like to be closer to Chloe and the children.” Lex looked at him. “So, you and Lois. You’ll be staying?”

Clark nodded. “It’s what she wants.”

“You’re not worried about the gossip?”

“Lois reminded me that she’s never cared what anyone else thinks of her.”

“She’s a heck of a woman, Clark. You’re lucky to have her.”

“I know.”

Lex hugged him. “I’ll write you.”

“Promise?” Clark said with a grin.

Lex snickered, then stepped off the porch. Robert was waiting by the car, ready to take Lex to the station. His friend waved a hand as he got into the car. Clark watched as they drove away.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark and Lois begin to enjoy family life

As much as Lois claimed she didn’t care what people thought of her, or Clark, the first time they went into town together, she couldn’t help noticing the stares from people. Old Mr Patton, in the general store, looked the other way, while that busybody, Marjorie Small, one of the members of the founding family, gave a ‘hmph’ as they walked down the street. Clark’s hand tightened slightly on hers but she sent him a reassuring smile.

“Well, Lois Lane.”

Lois heard the derisive tone of Lana Fordman. She was dressed to the nines, clearly thinking she was better than anyone else.

“Miss Lana,” Clark said, tipping his hat. “Excuse us. We have errands to run.”

“No, I will not excuse you, Father.” Her eyes widened as if she suddenly realised what she had said, but Lois was well aware it was deliberate on her part. “Oh dear, that’s right. You’re no longer a priest.”

She sidled up to him, placing her hand on his arm. Lois narrowed her eyes at the other woman, but Clark shot her a warning look. As much as she wanted to beat the tar out of her former rival, she knew Clark wouldn’t like it.

It seemed fairly clear that Lana thought that since Clark was no longer bound by the laws of the church, she could flirt and carry on as she pleased.

“Mrs Fordman,” Clark said sternly. “I don’t believe your husband would be happy to find you behaving so inappropriately. Especially on a public thoroughfare.”

“Hmph,” she said. “Do you think your behaviour is any more appropriate? Especially with her?” she added, indicating Lois.

“Lois has never done anything wrong.”

“She is a married woman,” Lana hissed.

“And that gives you licence to behave as you please?” Clark returned. Lois watched him in admiration as he continued to take the other woman down a peg, making it clear he was not the shy boy Lana had once known, but a man who didn’t particularly appreciate her insulting the woman he loved.

Lana blustered, her face growing redder. Clark was polite, which seemed to make her even angrier. She flounced off, ruining her perfect hairdo. Clark took Lois’ arm and continued walking with her down the main street.

“I’m sorry about that, love,” he said. “God teaches us to turn the other cheek, but with Lana …”

“I understand,” she replied. “Thank you for defending me.”

He looked at her, clearly wanting to kiss her, but knew it wasn’t appropriate. They continued walking, arm in arm.

Life on the farm went on as normal. The farmhands employed to work in the fields were told if they chose to spread gossip about Clark and Lois, they could consider themselves out of a job. Since the Lanes were known as the biggest employers in the county, and the fairest, the farmhands quickly realised which side their bread was buttered on and kept their mouths shut.

Thanksgiving approached and Lois was kept busy up at the main house, helping prepare it for the Thanksgiving feast. Little Sam was growing fast, looking more like his father every day. Lois was proud of her little man, as well as her daughter. Ella, at almost two, was turning into a little lady.

Lois was cleaning the parlour when Clark came back from the fields.

“Don’t you dare get muddy boots on the clean floors,” she scolded.

He grinned at her, bending down to take his boots off, leaving them by the doorway. He stepped inside.

“Is that better?” he said.

She narrowed her eyes at him and he laughed. Lois shook her finger at him.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re thinking, Mr Kent.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. She tried to pull away. He smelled as if he had been rolling in the dirt.

“One little kiss,” he said in protest.

“Not smelling like that,” she told him. “You need to take a bath.”

“You’re the boss,” he replied, smacking her lightly on the backside before letting her go. Lois shook her head and watched as he snuck up on Ella, who was playing some kind of game with her cousin. He bent down to tickle her but Ella squirmed away, giggling.

“No, Daddy, you smell funny.”

Lois inhaled sharply. Had Ella really called him Daddy?

Clark was chuckling, looking up at her with amusement.

“You need a bath, Daddy,” Ella was saying sternly, shaking her finger in almost a perfect imitation of her mother.

Lois burst out laughing at the crestfallen expression on Clark’s face. He sighed heavily.

“Well, it looks like your mother’s not the only one who’s bossy,” he said. He lightly poked Ella in the ribs so she squealed. “I must obey orders then, and take a bath.”

Clark went upstairs. Lois continued her cleaning, humming along with the gramophone, occasionally glancing over toward her daughter, who was playing happily, singing her own little song. Satisfied that everything was clean, Lois put down her cleaning rag and went to hug her daughter who kissed her cheek.

“You smell nice, Momma,” Ella said.

“That’s my good girl,” she crooned.

There was a knock on the screen door and Lois went to answer it with her daughter in her arms. She grinned at the visitor.

“Lex!”

Ella’s head whipped around and she squealed.

“Uncle Lex!” she exclaimed happily.

He grinned at her. “Hey sweetheart. You looking after your Momma?”

She nodded her head up and down in an exaggerated movement, then looked at her mother.

“Momma, I hungwy.”

Lois laughed. “Why don’t you go see if Aunt Chloe has something for you to eat.”

“Yay!” she said, raising her little arms in the air. Lois put her down and watched her toddle off toward the kitchen.

Lex grinned at her. “You look … happy.”

“I am. Clark just came in a little while ago. He’s upstairs.”

“Actually, it’s you I came to see.” He pulled an envelope out of the pocket of his coat. “I wanted to give this to you in person.”

Lois took the envelope with a suddenly shaky hand and opened it. She unfolded the document and read it, then looked up at him, eyes shining. She hugged him, then pulled away.

“Oh Lex, thank you! You have no idea how much this means.”

“Oh, I think I do,” he replied. “Congratulations.”

“Hey, Lex,” Clark said, coming down the stairs in clean clothes. “When did you get here?”

“Just now,” the bald man replied. “I just delivered some good news to Lois.”

Lois handed the paper to her lover, who read it quickly, then looked at her with a huge smile.

“The court granted the dissolution.”

She nodded. Now they could get married, she thought. Now they could be together as husband and wife, the way they should have been all along.

They’d been careful the past few months. As much as Lois wanted to be with Clark, her father had told her not to do anything which could jeopardise her divorce. So they hadn’t been together in the biblical sense.

Still, that hadn’t stopped them from sneaking away and finding some secluded spot where they could at least kiss. Lois had drawn the line at making love, not wanting to get caught by anyone.

Lex agreed to stay for a few days, which clearly delighted the children, who adored their uncle. An impromptu celebratory dinner was thrown together. Lex began telling the children stories as they sat at the table, making them giggle. Lois glanced at Clark, who was watching with a fond expression.

Eventually it was time for the children to be in bed. Robert drove them down to the cottage. Lois walked the rest of the way with Chloe, who was carrying Alex. Lex was carrying Jon and Clark had a sleepy Ella in his arms. Baby Sam was already fast asleep in his mother’s arms.

Lex joined his sister in the bedroom as Jon sleepily demanded another story. Lois watched for a few minutes as the two eldest children made their uncle sit on one of the beds and read to them. She crept out, going out to the porch and looking out into the night.

She heard footsteps behind her and a warm rug was wrapped around her shoulders. Clark stood beside her with his arm around her waist.

“What are you thinking about, my love?”

“Mmm, happy thoughts,” she said.

He pulled her close and she stood with her head on his chest.

“Marry me, Lois,” he murmured.

“Mm-hmm,” she replied, sighing contentedly. She raised her head and smiled up at him. “I love you. And yes, I’ll marry you. In a church, or a courthouse. It doesn’t matter which. All that matters is how we feel.”

He kissed her gently. “How do you always know the right thing to say?” he murmured softly.

“It’s a gift,” she chuckled.

Lex helped them with the arrangements, making sure all the forms were filled in correctly and filed with City Hall. Lois went shopping with Lucy and Chloe and found a wedding outfit that would suit. It wasn’t as elaborate as a wedding gown, but then no one really expected her to wear a nightmare in taffeta and silk, unlike when Chloe had married Oliver. Lois had never really been the kind of girl to wear frills but she knew Clark wouldn’t change that for the world.

They still had to wait the requisite period of four days before the wedding could take place, but once that was done, the ceremony was more or less just a formality.

On the day, Lois dressed carefully, making sure her dress wasn’t creased. Chloe and Lucy helped her style her hair, chattering all the while. Lois tried to pretend she wasn’t nervous, but the butterflies in her stomach seemed to be getting the better of her.

There was a knock on her bedroom door. She looked at Chloe in alarm, thinking it was Clark. Her sister-in-law went to the door and opened it, then turned and smiled at Lois before letting the visitor in.

Lois smiled and let out a shaky breath.

“Papa.”

Her father smiled at her, then nodded at Chloe and Lucy.

“If you young ladies wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have a moment alone with Lois.”

“Of course,” Chloe said, taking Lucy’s hand and propelling her out the door.

“Is everything all right, Papa?”

He nodded. “How are you feeling, Lois?”

“I’m shaking, Papa,” she admitted.

He took her hands. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked.

“I love him. I’ve always loved him.”

He smiled. “I remember the first time I saw you two together. You were both so young, just children, but you promised each other you would be friends forever. Do you remember that?”

“I remember everything, Papa.”

“I think I knew even then that you were always meant for each other. I’m only sorry that I didn’t intervene when I should have.”

“What do you mean, Papa?”

He sat on the bed, pulling her down to sit beside him.

“Your mother, God rest her soul, saw it long before anyone else did. She once said she worried about Father Lionel’s influence on young Clark. I always thought his mind was made up and I let it go. I thought perhaps this was something I should not interfere with.” He sighed. “If I had known then, what I know now …”

“You couldn’t have known about Father Lionel. Or any of it.”

“I shouldn’t have let you marry Bruce,” he said. “I never really liked the man. I knew you didn’t love him, but I just wanted you to be happy.”

“None of that matters now, Papa. I’m happy now. I’m marrying the man I love.”

“And you will have a wonderful life together. I can see how much he loves you, how much you have both looked forward to this day for so long.”

“Nothing will ever tear us apart again,” Lois assured her father.

Neither of them could have known as they said their vows to each other and sealed their marriage with a kiss that events would serve to threaten their new-found happiness once more.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War looms, separating the couple once more.

December 1941

“Clark?”

Clark put down his tools and looked up, frowning at the urgency in his wife’s voice.

“What is it, love?” he asked.

“Come quickly,” she said. “You need to hear this.”

He ran to the house, stepping up onto the porch. Lois rocked their youngest son in her arms, trying to calm him, but it seemed he sensed his mother’s distress.

“Daddy!” Ella called. She was sitting at the table, the wireless beside her. The eight-year-old looked pale.

Smarter than her years, Ella was an inquisitive child, much as her mother had been. She took an interest in everything around her.

Clark listened to the announcer on the radio, staring at his wife in shock as he heard them relaying the terrible events happening in Pearl Harbour. It was not known how many servicemen had been killed.

“Oh Clark,” Lois wailed.

He wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her, even as he trembled with fear and anger over what he’d just heard.

The war in Europe had been going on for two years now, and it seemed from all reports that the conflict was escalating, spreading in the Pacific.

“God,” he said. “What is happening in this world?”

He looked around the room, at the pictures on the wall. The little farmhouse had been their sanctuary for five years, since Clark had learned that the half acre of land his parents had built on more than thirty years earlier had never been sold. When Jonathan and Martha Kent had fallen deathly ill with Influenza they had begged Lionel to take their son into his care, but had never specified what was to be done with the little house and plot of land they owned.

Lex had done a little research and had learned the land was still legally Clark’s and had aided Clark in ensuring the deed passed back to his hands. The plot was a few miles from the Potter property, and far enough away from the townsfolk that they didn’t have to deal with the likes of Lana Fordman if they didn’t want to.

Oliver and the other Lane boys had eagerly volunteered their aid in getting the house habitable and within months of their marriage, Clark and Lois were able to move in. The timing had been fortuitous, since Lois was pregnant with their third child. Ella’s true parentage had never been discussed and those that didn’t know the story assumed Clark was Ella’s father. Clark didn’t mind, as he adored the little girl and it was mutual.

They now had five children, three sons and two daughters, each equally loved. Clark, who had been an only child, delighted in his brood, feeling that at last he had found his place.

They now had a small farm where they grew fruits and vegetables and kept a few chickens. Clark would sell some of their crops at the local market each week to earn a small income. It wasn’t much but they didn’t need much, being fairly self-sufficient.

Clark sat at the table with his wife and daughter while the younger children played, clearly unaware of the tragedy which had befallen their nation.

A knock on the door startled them. Lois looked up and offered a weak smile to their visitor.

“Lex,” she said. “Come in.”

Lex had opened his own law practice in town two years ago and was a frequent visitor. The children, especially Chloe’s four, adored their Uncle Lex.

“I’ll make some tea,” Lois offered as the bald man entered.

Clark looked at his friend.

“You heard?”

Lex nodded. “It’s terrible,” he said.

“What do you think is going to happen now?” Clark asked.

“I don’t know, but I imagine the President will make some kind of address. One thing’s for certain, the country can no longer ignore what is happening. We’re at war.”

Since the Selective Service Act had been passed a year earlier, all the men aged between 18 and 45 had had to register as eligible for military service. Since Clark had a family depending on him, he assumed that would be taken into account in the lottery which would have seen him serving for a year.

His brothers-in-law, Jack and Sam Junior had registered and as luck would have it, had been chosen for service. Robert had also gone, having volunteered for the duty. When his family, particularly his father objected, he had told them he wanted to do something worthwhile.

“I have some news,” Lex said. “I’ve been called up for service.”

Lois’ eyes widened. “Lex, no!”

He nodded. “I stopped by Chloe and Oliver’s and told them.”

“Isn’t there any way …” Clark began but his friend shook his head.

“Sadly there isn’t a legal way out, Clark. I have to report to Wichita Base early next week.”

He looked at his friend. They had heard that some others had tried to dodge the draft, but he knew Lex wouldn’t do that. He had clearly already tried to use his knowledge of the legal system to keep himself on American soil, but Clark was sure his friend was still prepared to do his duty.  
Lex put a hand reassuringly on Lois’ arm.

“I will be all right,” he said. “I promise.”

Lois bit her lip, but nodded. Clark glanced at his wife and daughter. Ella was smart enough to know that her uncle couldn’t really keep that promise, but Lex was obviously going to do his best to keep it anyway.

As he lay in bed that night with his beloved wife in his arms, Clark couldn’t help worrying about the man who had become a dear friend.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” Lois said.

He couldn’t lie to her. “Yes, I am. I worry about all the men about to join the fighting.”

It was inevitable that many men would be sent over to fight and not all of them would come home. Clark prayed to God it wouldn’t be any of his brothers-in-law, or his friend, but even he knew it was a very real possibility.

“Let’s just hope the war is a short one,” Lois murmured. “So they can all come home to their families.”

He held her close, kissing her forehead. As much as he wanted that, he knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

Less than two weeks later, the President passed an amendment to the Act which stated the minimum term of service was twelve months, extending it by at least six months. It was a measure brought about by the attack on the American base at Pearl Harbour.

As the months followed, millions of men were being called up to fight. It came as no surprise when Clark received his own orders.

“No! No!” Lois cried when she read the message. “I won’t let you go!”

“Lois, I have to. It’s my duty.”

“What about your duty here? Our children?”

He embraced her. “Sweetheart, I wish there was a way I could stay, but they need me.”

“I need you here!”

As much as he wanted to argue, he knew she was only doing it out of fear. The one thing he loved the most about his beloved wife was that she had always been independent. She had always taken care of herself and she would continue to do so.

He packed his things for the journey to Wichita two days later. Chloe and Lucy had both come to the farm to help Lois with the children. Clark kissed his children in turn.

“Daddy, come home safe,” Ella said. He bent and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her

“I will do my best,” he promised.

He took Lois aside, kissing her gently.

“Don’t go,” she said, but it was clear in her resigned expression that she knew he couldn’t stay.

“I love you. I have always loved you, Lois.”

“I love you too,” she said. “Promise me that you will do your utmost to come back to me.”

“I promise.”

June 1943

Lois smiled at her daughter as Ella handed her the next item to be hung out to dry. A fighter plane flew overhead and she glanced up, thinking for a moment of her beloved husband, still fighting overseas.

As she picked up the now empty clothes basket and followed her daughter back inside the farmhouse, she sighed. It was still early morning but it was already hot.

“Lois?”

She heard her sister’s voice at the front door of the farmhouse. Lucy worked in the main house at the Potter farm. Her fiancé was a soldier who had been called to fight with a regiment in Europe.

Lucy looked pale and stricken.

“What is it, Lucy?”

“You gotta come. It’s Chloe.”

She frowned, wondering what was wrong with her sister-in-law.

“Momma?” Ella asked.

She looked at her nine-year-old daughter.

“Ella, honey, can you stay with the children?” She glanced into the children’s playroom. When they had first moved into the farmhouse, Clark had thought it would be a good idea for the children to have a room they could play in. The two youngest were playing with the building blocks their father had made for them, while the two older children were reading.

“Yes Momma,” Ella said.

She ruffled her daughter’s hair. “Good girl,” she smiled.

Lois followed her sister out to the Buick which Lucy had clearly appropriate from the farm.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, seeing her sister looked upset. Her knuckles were white as she clung to the steering wheel.

Lucy didn’t reply, keeping her eyes focused on the road. It was a short journey to the turn-off to the dusty driveway which led to the cottage. Another car was parked alongside the house. Worried, Lois got out of the car and followed her sister into the cottage.

Oliver had his wife in his arms. Chloe was clinging to him, sobbing as if her heart was breaking. Ten-year-old Jon stood by his parents, clearly lost as to what to do.

“Ollie?” Lois asked.

He looked up at her and shook his head, glancing at Jon, who nodded. The boy picked up a slip of yellow paper from the table and handed it to Lois. She read it quickly, her heart plummeting.

“Oh Chloe,” she said, sighing softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Lex was reported missing in action.

She began thinking about Clark, missing him. He sent letters home when he could, even if they were heavily censored, as the men weren’t allowed to tell their families where they were or what they had seen. All she knew was that he was a Captain, leading a regiment somewhere in Africa. She was proud of her husband, despite his feelings about the war itself. She knew he had had to kill people, which went against everything he believed in, but he followed orders nonetheless.

It was all such a waste she thought later that night. Men were dying, both on the side of the allies and on the side of the enemy, and for what?

She wasn’t surprised to get a knock on the front door of the farmhouse early the next afternoon. She smiled at Father Joel.

The older priest had chosen to leave the seminary to replace Father Lionel when the other man had been recalled to Metropolis and transferred to another parish. After everything that had happened, Lois had wondered why the man hadn’t been expelled from the priesthood but she supposed the bishop had known what he was doing.

“Good afternoon, Lois,” Father Joel said, taking off his hat. “May I come in?”

“Of course Father,” she said. “Would you like some tea? Or some lemonade?”

“Lemonade would be wonderful, my dear,” he replied with a smile. He wiped his feet before stepping inside.

Ella came out from the playroom.

“Momma, can we have some lemonade?” she said.

“It’s may I,” Lois corrected, smiling at her daughter’s exasperated look. “And yes, you may.”

“Hello young Ella,” Father Joel greeted her. “What is that you’re reading?”

“The Three Musketeers,” Ella replied, almost shyly. “It’s my daddy’s favourite.”

“Ahh, yes indeed. I can understand why. Far off places, daring sword fights, adventures …” He leaned forward and winked at her. “I will let you in on a little secret, my child. It was my favourite too when I was a boy.”

Ella looked at him, surprised. Lois hid a smile as her daughter asked the priest about his boyhood. Children never seemed to think adults had ever been children themselves.

The other children came out, clamouring for lemonade. Lois laughed and handed out the drinks, shooing them back to play.

“Your children are very energetic,” Father Joel observed.

“They are, that.” She served him his lemonade and sat at the table with him. The priest sipped his drink, then looked at her.

“I was at the cottage this morning, consoling young Chloe.”

“She’s devastated. We don’t know if …”

“Sadly, these things are meant to try us,” the priest replied. “Have faith, my child.” He peered at her. “You have not heard from Clark?”

She shook her head. “But no news is good news, right?”

“I know your husband very well, Lois. I know how much he loves his family and he will do everything in his power to come home to you.”

Lois nodded. The priest had become a good friend to them over the past few years, even though he knew of her feelings about the church in general. She had never blamed him for Lionel’s actions, since he had been a great support for Clark as he’d been considering his decision to leave the priesthood. She knew if it hadn’t been for the older priest’s understanding, Clark might not have left the church at all and she wouldn’t have their children.

She and the priest continued to chat for a while. Lois was glad of the respite as it was far too hot to be out in the garden, despite the need to bring in some of the crops. By the time the priest left, she was hot and tired but at least feeling a little better about things.

Sam came out of the playroom, trailed by Patrick, who was almost two. He clearly noticed her distraction as he wrapped his arms around her. He wasn’t quite tall enough to reach up so he pressed his face against her belly.

“Don’t worry, Momma. Daddy will be home soon.”

She stroked her eldest son’s head.

“I hope so, baby.”

Summer wore on and it was August before she realised. Chloe still had no news of her brother and was growing more despondent every day. Lois had begun to grow worried about her husband, who hadn’t sent a letter home in weeks.

She was working in the field, picking out some vegetables to be sold at the market the next day, a hat on her head to protect her face from the hot sun. Ella worked beside her silently, while the other children tried their best, although they were more of a hindrance than a help. Lois didn’t admonish them though, knowing they just wanted to feel useful.

She paused in the middle of chopping at the bottom of one particularly stubborn crop, looking up toward the house. There was a man in a dress uniform standing at the end of the driveway, gazing in her direction. Lois stood up, a hand across her eyes to shield them, trying to make out who it was.

“Momma?”

Lois looked down at her second eldest son, Thomas. The five-year-old’s face was streaked with dirt as if he had been making mud pies instead of helping her harvest the crops. Three-year-old Isabelle was also frowning up at her.

“Stay here,” she said.

She began walking over the field toward the man, still trying to make out his features. As he removed the hat he was wearing, revealing raven dark locks, she started to run. He began moving toward her, opening the gate. Lois ran faster, her long hair falling out of its knot, flying behind her. She flung herself into her husband’s arms.

“Lois!” he said, his voice full of emotion.

“Clark! You’re home! You’re home!”

“I’m home.”


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark and Lois have a passionate reunion, but much has changed since he's been away.

Their happy reunion had to wait until the children were in bed that night. Clark made sure all the children were asleep before going to the bedroom where his wife was sitting up in bed waiting for him. She frowned as he entered the room.

“You’re limping,” she said. “I noticed it before but I didn’t want to say anything in front of the children.”

He nodded, bending to pull up his right pants leg, showing her the still livid scar.

“A grenade,” he said. “I was fighting with some of the men, trying to push back the line and one of the enemy lobbed a grenade. The shrapnel nearly tore it apart. The doctors operated three times to put it back together.”

Lois had tears in her eyes. She reached for him and he sat on the bed beside her.

“That’s why I came home early,” he said. “They discharged me because of my injury.”

“Oh, Clark!” she said, sighing softly.

“I’m all right, love,” he replied, taking her hand and lacing their fingers together. “Maybe I’m not completely whole, but I’m alive.”

“What was it really like over there?” she asked.

“It was … I don’t know how to explain it. It’s all such a waste, Lois. So many men dying and for what? None of it makes any sense. War is the worst thing men can do to their fellow man. There were so many times when my faith in God was tested. Where I began to question everything I believed in. But the one thing that kept me going, kept me fighting, was seeing your beautiful face again, my love. Knowing that you were waiting for me, feeling your love across the thousands of miles, that made it all worth fighting for.”

“I love you,” she said. “All this time, I kept telling myself I would give anything to see you again, feel you next to me.”

“I’m here.”

“Love me?”

“Always,” he replied. He got up, removing his pyjama pants before lying on the bed beside her, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. Lois moaned softly, shifting to lie on her side so she could wrap her arms around him. They kissed again, their hands stroking each other’s bodies.

Clark pulled at the hem of her nightgown, lifting it over her head and throwing it on the floor. He rolled them over so she was on top, kissing her deeply, letting her know through that kiss just how much he loved her, how much he had missed her. He stroked her face, brushing the hair back and she laughed softly.

They made love long into the night, their passionate reunion needed after being so long apart.

As dawn woke him, Clark looked down at his sleeping wife and smiled. He swore they would never be parted again.

He dozed off, only to be woken again a short time later by little voices.

“Sshh, Momma and Daddy are sleepin’,” Sam told his brothers and sisters.

Lois lifted her head. With a squeal, Patrick ran to her, jumping up to the bed. The rest of the children soon followed. Ella squeezed herself in between her parents, then looked up at Clark.

“Daddy, are you gonna go away again?”

He hugged his eldest daughter. “Never again, I promise.”

The rest of the children clamoured for their own hugs, bouncing excitedly on the bed. Clark grinned at his wife as their family laughed happily.

A few days later, Clark decided to take his wife into town so they could have a little time to themselves. The children were being looked after by Lucy and her husband Ron, who had returned from Europe a few months earlier, having done his duty. Lucy was pregnant with their first child.

So much had changed in the year and a bit since Clark had left to fight in the war. As he drove through the streets of the town he had been born in, Clark could see the emptiness. Like every other town where most of the men had been sent to fight, it was the women who had taken over the businesses, and they were barely managing.

He glanced at his wife as she sat beside him.

“It’s changed,” he observed.

“It has,” Lois said quietly beside him.

He spotted the local cinema and the malt shop next door to Fordman’s and manoeuvred the car into a parking spot before getting out of the car and moving around to take his wife’s hand.

As they started toward the malt shop, Lana Fordman came out of the department store. She stopped in her tracks, staring at them.

“I heard you were back,” she said quietly. She was almost a pale imitation of the girl they had both grown up with. While she wore thick make-up, it couldn’t hide the pallor. Clark knew why. Her husband Whitney had gone over to fight in Europe and had been killed in action.

“We’re so sorry about Whitney,” Lois said.

Lana nodded. “Thank you. I - I heard about Alexander. Has there been any news?”

Clark shook his head. Chloe had been happy to see him on his return, but eager for news of her brother. Since they had been sent to separate campaigns, he had no way of knowing what had happened to his friend. He could only hope that he was in one of the P.O.W camps. While they weren’t pleasant places to be in, he knew at least his friend would be alive.

They continued on into the shop as Lana left to run some errands. She had changed since he and Lois had married. While he still didn’t like her all that much, she had long since stopped the jibes. The town of Smallville no longer cared what had happened in the past. The war had made them realise there were far more important things to get upset about.

They sat at a table and ordered coffees, hoping to just spend some quiet time together. It was not to be, however, as the townsfolk recognised him and began asking questions about the war. Clark didn’t want to talk about it. Lois knew what he had gone through and she was the only person who really needed to know.

At night, the family would gather by the wireless, listening to the news reports. Clark avoided the news reels in the cinema, unable to tolerate the false picture they drew of the war. The reels were all about the heroism and the ‘brave men’ fighting for their country. None of it was about bravery, he often told his beloved wife. Those that made it out were lucky, not brave.

He received a telegram a few months after his return home telling him he was to be awarded the Medal of Honour. Clark didn’t want it, but he accepted it for the sake of his family.

The war dragged on, for two more years. No one was more relieved than Clark when the war officially ended in September 1945.

It was not all good news. As the entire family gathered at the Potter homestead as the news of the armistice was celebrated throughout the country, Sam Lane senior raised a glass in a quiet toast for those who would never return home. Robert had died on the battlefield a year earlier. Jack a year before that. Only Sam Jr had returned, much changed after seeing the death and destruction.

Chloe stood quietly with her husband and children, her gaze distant. She had held out hope of her brother’s return, but as the years had passed with no news, she grew more despondent. Nothing Oliver said to her could comfort her.

Clark lay in bed that night, his wife in his arms.

“It isn’t fair,” Lois said. “He should be here.”

He nodded, knowing what she meant. He missed his friend. Lex had helped him in so many ways. They’d chosen to give their second son the middle name of Alexander, so he wouldn’t be confused with his elder cousin, and he had recently proclaimed he was going to call himself Lex, after his beloved uncle.

Life slowly returned to normal, or as normal as it could be, for a few weeks. They continued to help on the Potter farm, but as the men returned, some of them took up jobs as farmhands. Prosperity had returned to the land but at a huge cost.

Clark was out in the field of his little farm one afternoon in November, discussing with his brother-in-law how they could make better use of the soil. Oliver had had some good ideas which Clark wanted to try, so he could maximise yield and make a little more money for the family.

Four-year-old Patrick came running over the field.

“Daddy, Daddy …”

Clark stopped him from tripping over a hole he’d dug the day before, grabbing his son.

“Now where are you running to in such a rush, young man?”

“There’s someone here,” Patrick replied.

Frowning, Clark followed his son back to the cottage where Lois and Chloe had been working with the children, schooling them. His eyes widened as he saw the tall man standing on the porch, talking to Lois. Oliver gasped beside him.

“Lex?”

Lex turned. He was skinnier - he’d always been slender, but now he was almost skin and bone and his face was gaunt, but he smiled.

“Clark! Oliver!”

Clark practically ran up the steps to hug his friend, careful of his thinner frame. Oliver nudged him aside to get in his own hug.

“Lex, we thought … when we didn’t hear anything …”

“I was in a POW camp,” Lex explained. “In Germany. Stalag 13.” He shuddered. Clearly it had not been the most pleasant experience.

“None of that matters,” Lois said. “You’re home now.”

“Does Chloe know?” Oliver asked his brother-in-law.

“Not yet, but I imagine she will. She went to the cottage for something. Ella and Sam went to fetch her.”

Clark beamed at his friend. “I’m so happy you’re here,” he said. “I missed you.”

“As I did you, my friend.”

It wasn’t long before Chloe returned with the children, her face shining with happiness.

“Lex, you’re skin and bone. That’s it, you are staying with us so I can fatten you up.”

He made a face.

“Oh no, anything but that,” he said, laughing at his sister’s expression.

Together they went inside the house, holding their own mini celebration. The rest of the family would know soon enough, but in the meantime, Clark wanted to enjoy the reunion with his friend. He had his wife, his children and his best friend. It was all he needed.

A few days later Father Joel visited the little farm. It was cold but Clark sat out on the porch swing while the older man sat opposite him.

“How are you doing, Clark?” the priest asked.

“I’m doing well, Father.”

The other man smiled. “All is right with the world?”

Clark nodded. His family was happy. They’d made it through the worst. Sure, he thought, they had lost friends and family but through it all he had never lost faith that things would get better.

“I’m reminded of something I read long ago. Have you heard of the ubermensch?”

Clark nodded. He’d read a little of Nietzsche. Father Joel smiled.

“Nietzsche once said that the true hero was someone who embraced the life that he or she was given and made it better. He called that person ubermensch, or ‘Superman’.”

“I used to think that my purpose was to serve God, as a priest, but now I know that I am still serving God, with my wife and my children. Here, I found my true heart.”

“You are indeed a blessed man, Clark. You take nothing for granted, but you love with all your heart and soul. That to me is a sign of true faith.”

“I truly am, Father.”

Clark sat for a while long after the old man had left. Lois came out to the porch. Clark pulled her down to sit in his lap and kissed her gently.

“What was that for?” she asked.

“For loving me,” he replied. He held her close and watched the sun as it dipped below the horizon.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to make note of a couple of things. The original book went down a completely different path to my story, but I did want to take elements of that story and create something that explored a 'what if'. I don't know if what Clark does in this story is as easy as I made it out to be. Research suggests it isn't that easy, but given the time period I decided they had a lot more to worry about than a priest who doubts his calling. 
> 
> As for Lois' fate, I'm not sure in the book that the main character was able to do what Lois did and since I don't have full knowledge of the law in those days, I just went with what felt right for me. Technically Lois does commit adultery and I don't say it but Bruce knows it. However, it's implied that he's done the same, so that kind of cancels it out. Neither one of them were truly blameless in that situation. 
> 
> The book did not have a happy ending, if memory serves. I'm a sucker for happy endings and while not everything is perfect in the end for the family, Clark and Lois are together and that to me means everything.


End file.
